Thursday, July 30, 2009

Opps, I did it again....

You are not gonna believe this, but I did it again. I went through ANOTHER pair of workout shoes. You know how I was crying about it LAST month when I started fat camp?

Well here I am again. I noticed last week that I had a hole in the toe. I guess when you triple your workouts, your shoes only last a third as long. I really need two pairs - cross trainers and running shoes. But running shoes are so awesome and comfortable. The shoes I like are $130 after tax. I found them on a website called See Jane Run which will save me $15 due to no tax and free shipping, so I just ordered them.

I may try and find a pair of cross trainers as well. This maybe harder since there are far less of them than running shoes.

In other news, today is weigh-in day because I am having my cheat meal tonight. And the results? 1 pound lost. Now a pound is a pound but I am telling you all, I have never worked so hard for a pound. And that puts me at 200 pounds exactly. Damn it! Maybe next week will be onederland.

Yesterday my trainer changed my diet slightly. Cut me down to about 1200 calories (from 1600). Just to see if we can get one last drop in weight out of the summer. I also have to spread that out over 6 meals. Yesterday I was in so much pain muscle wise that I decided to take today off from working out (unheard of for me - that is a lot of pain). I was looking forward to sleeping in. But I was up at 5:15 because I was STARVING. Cutting out one fourth of your calories leaves your body wanting more.

The bottom line is, if I am going to starve (at least for part of the day) and continue working out hard next week I better see onederland. Do you hear that uncooperative body of mine? Learn the math.

Until then I shall shop for some shoes and enjoy a cheat meal today. Hopefully you all will have better weigh-ins than I did this week. Onward and downward!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The times, they are uh-changin'

I love the lady gym!! Just something about it - the people, the group classes, the energy. I am never really disappointed when I go no matter what class I take. Although, I have a new favorite instructor that I just started taking classes from a few weeks ago and have been stalking her in her classes ever since.

This instructor is hard core and she has like the perfect athletic body. Somebody who I am sure, has always been into fitness and it shows. Well friends, I was wrong (shocker, I know).

During one class last week I heard her say that she used to be over-weight. So I am thinking "oh she lost her last 10 pounds, good for her!"

Sidenote - I am being sincere in this statement. Losing weight is soooo tough! I would never put someone down for trying to get healthy. Whether you are trying to lose 2 pounds or 200 pounds (or 1 stone for my friends who weigh in other standard units of measurement), my hat is off to you and I wish you all the success in the world!!

The next day, I showed up to a class early and was pleasantly surprised to see that she was the instructor. She seems very open like I am and we were alone, so I asked her about her weight loss. I was wrong again. Turns out she lost 87 pounds. She is about 5'2 so that number is super huge! Did I tell you she has like the perfect athletic body? I was shocked. She gained alot of weight with pregnancies and only started working out about 3 years ago after she started Weight Watchers and now she is BIG TIME into fitness and being an instructor.

Now fast forward to a few days later when I show up to take her Zumba class (my 5th Zumba class that week). There was a woman who is about 60 who was taking the class as well. I guess she had been in a class with me earlier in the week. She approached me and said "you must really like Zumba, I think you take a lot of classes." I told her I loved it and how it helped to shape my waist and abs. She then told me that I hop around alot and am very bouncy. I could not help but laugh. I told her how I wasn't always able to do that. I told her when I first started taking classes that I weighed almost 300 pounds and you just cannot hop around when you are that heavy.

This is where heads snapped and jaws dropped, including the instructor. And I got the question I had never gotten before "you used to weigh almost 300 pounds?" I could not help but feel happy inside. I must look far enough away from 300 pounds now that it is hard to picture me that heavy.

So far on this journey, most people knew me when I was at my heaviest. These are some of the first people I have encountered that did not know me then.

Today in a class I noticed something else. I am no longer the least fit person in a room. That used to bother me. Not to be the heaviest, but to be the least fit. When the class would do something challenging and I struggled. I still struggle with difficult moves and heavy weights but I am what I consider a fit person now.

So the times are uh-changin'. Last year I would not have said that. But I have created someone new. A fit, fun person. Hopefully I still feel fit at turbo kickboxing tonight. Burn calories, burn!

Monday, July 27, 2009

No one ever said I had a pretty face...

There are a lot of back-handed comments in our world of fat aren't there? I think they are comments that actually disguise questions that our friends and families (or perfect strangers) have.

For example - You have such a pretty face! = Why are you so fat?
Another example (while watching someone on television who lost a lot of weight) - You could do that! = Why are you so lazy?
Yet another (while trying on clothes) - Those look like they run small. = OMG! You have to go up another size?
One more (while looking at pictures) - Look how cute you were! = What the hell happened to you?

As we all know, some people are not that polite and just scream horrible, mean things at us. This is the funniest to me. If what goes around, comes around, then they should be scared that God will make them fat. Also, we are not blind. When we are fat, we know it. Someone else pointing it out does not educate us or motivate us in some new, profound manner.

I did not endure a lot of this but I know many have and I think it is absolute crap. No one should have to listen to this stuff. So I was thinking about it and I realized something.

No one ever told me I had a pretty face. Like, ever. I have been told I was cute or quirky. I think quirky is another term for annoying. It is my personality that makes me stand out. If I had to say I looked like someone, it would be Cindy Brady from the Brady Bunch (minus the lisp). I looked a lot like her as a child.

What the hell is my rambling point? Lately, a couple of people have told me I am pretty. It is nice that people want to give a complement but I probably look at them with shock in my face. In 31 years, I never heard that....until I lost a bunch of weight. In my mind, I am still Cindy Brady, always will be (even when I was at my heaviest and people avoided looking at me, I saw Cindy Brady).

I would be less shocked if someone said "Wow, you look way less fat! It makes you look better." And being the straight shooter I am, I would say a heart-felt thank you and appreciate their honesty. The world does not operate under my beliefs, obviously. We are a society of extremes. Extreme pleasantries or extreme insults. I try to fly down the middle of the road. This journey has really made me analyze the things I say before I speak them aloud (which is very hard for me and my big mouth). I have noticed that words stay with people (including myself) for a long time.

So say something nice to someone today. But mean it. Make it honest. We are wise enough to know the difference.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Progress is being made, it cannot be denied

Last week was when best bud lent me a bunch of her clothes. There was a really cute pencil skirt that I could not get zipped. It was a size 12. I took that as a goal skirt.

As we all know from my bitching, my scale weight did not go down this week. Also, I am a bloaty piece of work. However, I decided yesterday I wanted to try that skirt on again to see how far off I am. I got it all the way zipped! It is tight, but it zipped. One week later. So that tells me all my working out did pay off. When I took it off I looked at the tag. It is from Banana Republic. I always wanted to wear clothes from there. When I tried them in my younger days, they did not fit. When I get to my goal, I know where I am going to do some shopping!

Today I went to Marshalls and tried on TONS of clothes to see what would fit. Lots fit but I only let myself buy one dress. I desperately need pants (especially seeing how my shorts completely fell off in the dressing room) but I will wait until the week school starts.

I am absolutely AMAZED at what exercise has done to my body. I would have never believed it could look this different even a few months ago. My trainer says that diet is more important than exercise. For me, I think it is the other way around. I am still eating the same things I ate when I got fat. I do not eat bad things, I just eat it more sensibly now (a.k.a. counting calories).

If you are stuck or need a boost, I am telling you, adding or changing your exercise can make a HUGE difference!! Let's just hope (for my sanity) that someday it will reflect on the scale as well. I think I like the number on the scale because 200 pounds is 200 pounds, but a size 12 in one store maybe a size 14 in another store. My trainer is all about sizes, I am all about the scale. What do you like to go by? Just curious.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Weigh In

Man I HATE my lady troubles!! Evil bastard body. I must admit I had to do a "sneak peek" on Monday because my trainer wanted to see if I hit under 200. Now this was after my weekly cheat meal (including ice cream, yum) so I was fine when I saw 201. I did not weigh again until today.

This is the worst bloaty, painful, water-retaining day of my troubles (of course). I had that same talk with myself.....last week I lost a lot, you worked as hard as you possibly could have, your body has changed, the number does not matter.

But I have to say I was disappointed to see 201 again today. Overall, a half pound gain since last Friday. What did I do? Weigh myself 3 more times for accuracy (and yup it was). Which I guess means last week's weigh-in was no fluke so that is good. After that I got dressed and worked out all morning like I had planned. In fact, I am about to motor out the door to another Zumba class. I feel so much better after I workout, so that has helped me ignore the number today.

Hope you all have better results this week. I really want next week to be better. Really only because I am so close to onederland. Fingers crossed.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Well I Was Right

...lady troubles arrived today. I had to take some major drugs so I could workout. I did feel much better after workout. Those damn lady troubles. Let me tell you, I knew this doom was coming in the next week or so. Of course it would arrive the day before my weigh-in and when I am so close to onederland. Timing sucks. My cycle can have a tendency to ruin two weigh-ins in a row. One week leading up to it and the week of (damn water retention and bloating). I hope I will only have one bad week because my time at fat camp time is running out.

Want some random story/news? Sure you do, who doesn't? The first story contains TMI, I am aware of this. Consider yourselves warned.

Story#1 dates back to Tuesday night. No kickboxing. It was bootcamp. I was a little pissy about it but I did kick some butt. After that, I stayed for yoga. I have been taking yoga because I need a lot more stretching. I would have never thought my biggest workout fear would come true in that class. What is my fear? I am sure you have it too. Days when you are gassy and you workout anyway because you need to and just hope your body complies. For a year I have had this fear about once every two weeks but I have stayed in control. But not Tuesday. I was not even gassy. And it was quiet. We went to a standing pose and I tooted - loudly. Did I get a reaction? Nope, everyone kept on concentrating - except me. I could not stop laughing (yes, I am the most immature person I know). I almost left because, seriously, how annoying can I be? But I eventually got myself under control. So my fear came true and it could have been worse (it could have been loud AND stinky). Hopefully I will not have to relive this experience.

Story #2. I went shopping today. I had a 15% off coupon for Kohls. I went for more workout shorts but when I did not find what I wanted, I went to the regular clothes. I picked up a bunch of tops, dresses, some pants and a skirt. I even got some stuff from the juniors section (I know I am too old for that section but the clothes are so cute I just wanted to try them on). I picked up a size 12 jean and skirt just to see how far off I am from them fitting. I got the skirt almost all the way zipped. I needed another inch or so. I put one leg in the jeans and thought, I will never get these over my hips. But I did. And then they buttoned and zipped. OMG! I cannot tell you the last time I wore or owned anything that was a size 12. About 10 years ago I guess and I was 20 pounds lighter than I am now. Aside from the muffin top, these jeans looked GOOD! They made my ass look nice and my legs look skinny. I wanted to buy them but they were $50. I may go back and get them. It was an exciting moment.

Other than that, it has been working out, swimming and napping (of course). Man I will miss napping when school starts. Okay enough of my rambling, time to read your blogs!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Feeling Bitchy

Man. I gotta say I think I have PMS today. Which is weird because that is not something that usually happens to me. Like, ever. I get HORRIBLE pain when I have lady troubles (sorry for this post boys) but never am I emotional.

I cry about twice a year. This is no exaggeration. Sometimes people think I am cold but I cannot help it if I cannot cry (this especially upsets people if I do not cry at sad movies).

Yesterday I was watching one of the Biggest Loser Finales and started to cry. I was so proud for them and myself. They have great stories. So what do I do? Rewind and watch the part that made me cry again. Out of character for me really. Throughout this journey I have not cried about it. Not about how I got fat, not about getting stuck, not about losing it. But this week I am still flying high. I feel so great. I actually feel proud and accomplished. It made me run farther and faster yesterday. This pride has made me cry. Seems weird to me but this probably happens to others (right?).

Today, no tears. However, my husband came home for a little while for the pool guy to do something and I just wanted him to leave. I wanted to scream "Get out of my way!!" "When you are done with silverware, put it in the dishwasher. How hard is that?"

Anyone who knows my husband knows he is awesome and would never deserve to hear those things so I just screamed in my head until he left. Now I feel like I can relax. I need to concentrate on things and he is distracting (like when I am trying for HOURS to recover any data from our crashed motherboard and he is asking me questions about it - just let me do it and we can discuss it later).

Maybe he was concerned when I told him I was gonna go all "Office Space" on the old computer and beat the crap out of it.

Man I hope this attitude passes quickly. If this is PMS, I am not enjoying it. Do drugs help it? I like to pop pills if they make things better quickly.

So far today I have done one workout - bodypump. It was pretty good. I love kick-ass instructors. She burned up my muscles. The good news is there was no drama and my shoes were dry. Of course, I was at lady gym. We will see how tomorrow is at the training studio. I have two more workouts today. Perhaps they will make me less bitchy. Wish me luck on that!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Gym Drama!

No, I did not cause the drama at the gym today (but with all my bitching lately I can see where the thought entered your mind). I was just a witness.

Just to be clear, I go to 3 different gyms. The 1st is a personal training studio where I work out with my trainer. There are only 5 trainers (all men) and clients are only their with their trainers. Very small. Very manish. Very hands-on.

The other two gyms are what I refer to as the lady gym. Women only. My membership allows me to use two different locations so I do. However, the clientele is very different from one location to the next. Lady gym is awesome because I can put it out there and shake and jiggle (especially back when I was 270+ pounds) and they are nothing but encouraging - staff and clients - at both locations.

So where do you think the drama lies? With the women of course.

Oh no, you would be wrong. Over the past year I have seen more drama at the boy's personal training studio than I care to admit. However, it does make things interesting. Until today.

Picture it - the small training studio with four trainers and two clients working out (I sound like Sophia from the Golden Girls - picture it, Sicily 1947.....) at 8:50 this morning. I have 10 minutes left in my session before I need to leave to run an errand and make a class at the lady gym.

In walks a very distressed gentleman waving his hands around. As soon as I finish my set on a squating type machine, MY TRAINER goes over to the man and takes him outside. Hands are flailing, my trainer gets on the phone. Two more trainers step outside. A 15 minute long conversation ensues. I am trapped. They are blocking the door. It is pouring down rain and crazy hand flailing man is parked right next to me.

Finally my trainer comes in and the other two remain outside trying to calm the situation. No, it was not an angry husband (however, that has happened there multiple times before). It was an irate, over-protective father.

This poor 19 year college student came home for the summer, her parents told her she was fat and immediately signed her up to train 5 days a week even though she did not want to. I have met her. She is nice yet quiet. Her family is over-protective, intrusive and unstable at best. She has been working out with my trainer for two months. She has had a crush on him for a while. Saturday they went to eat lunch together and her father saw them. He started calling my trainer (which he calls him all the time to talk about his daughter - inappropriate in my book - and at all hours day or night) and told him he was going to shoot him. Then he shows up at the gym.

Holy crap! Shoot someone for eating lunch with your kid? Dude, take a pill. So who was my trainer calling? The police. The hand flailing gentleman finally got in his vehicle and left and I ran out right after so I could move on with my day. The cops were pulling up as I was leaving. My guess would be that my trainer has one less client.

Boys and their drama. But I gotta say, I wanted to go outside and yell at that dude because he took my last 10 minutes of my session. Now I am glad I didn't. I'm not ready to be shot. I just want to work out.

When I finally made it to the lady gym, it was still pouring rain and the parking lots were flooded. To make it even better I had to park at the end of the row because so many people were already there. I ran as fast as I could but I was drenched. Socks and shoes - completely soaked. I did my Zumba anyway. Hopefully I did not ruin my shoes.

What a day. Tomorrow morning will be bodypump. My hope is for a killer workout (well not literally), far less drama and dry shoes.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

New Week Ahead...

I had a conversation with my trainer yesterday. As this journey has progressed I have taken it more seriously. When I was training with my best bud it was fun and we would be silly sometimes but we worked hard. The more I have been able to do, the more I want to do.

So here is my irritation. I do not go to the gym to socialize and screw around. I pay a lot of money and I want to get in, burn a lot of calories and get out. I do not understand people paying money to sit around and chat (and there are some people who just sit on machines and talk without executing a single move, why?). My trainer is pretty good about getting to work and working the whole time. So I was discussing with him how the morning turbo instructor is pissing me off because she wants to stop and chat about Wal-Mart (I do not care - you are paid to do a job, so do it). There is an instructor who teaches Bodypump that I took Zumba from 3 times this week. She is so focused and hard core. She even wears a calorie counter that tells us how many calories we burned.

Hell yeah....that is my girl! So my trainer has decided to switch my workouts to all core work (bastard - I hate working the core). In return, I get to start taking bodypump from the super awesome instructor (this will only last a few weeks as sadly summer comes to an end and I will have to work again). I am excited. It will be interesting to see how I do now. I am sure it will be hard (as it should be) but the last time I took the class I was about 70 pounds heavier. I wonder how I will do? Hopefully I will still like it and it will make a better workout schedule this week.

It is sad to me that the morning turbo instructor is being such an buttnut because that is my absolute favorite class and now I want to avoid it because of her. At least I have the Tuesday night class still.

Sorry for the rant. Enough of my bitching. In other news I went out for a glorious cheat meal last night! I get one cheat meal each week and last week I had to use it on a BBQ at my house. It would have been worth it if my husband had cooked but his friend cooked the meat and it was sub-par compared to what I eat everyday. Disappointing. So this week it was Mexican food (but without the super yummy margaritas because I know the calorie count now - damn nutritional information).

It was wonderful. I do not feel I over did it either. Unless maybe you count the AWESOME ice cream I ate with my best bud hours later. I also wore my new dress to dinner (you know the one from the don't shit your pants post) to see if I am comfortable wearing dresses in public. Guess what? I am. I loved it and plan to buy more.

I also went to my local Subway to get best bud a sandwich last night. There are two young guys that work in there that usually only see me after I workout (not a pretty sight). They told me I looked lovely. They are so sweet! They must think I am an athlete because they asked if I had a banquet to go to. Awww....last year NO ONE would have ever thought that. Funny the difference a year can make.

Also, since school will be starting soon and I have no clothes that are appropriate for work best bud went in her closet and found somethings for me to try on. We had a bit of a fashion show. I am still quite a bit bigger than her so I was thrilled that a lot of the stuff fit (and she has great taste). I took one skirt that was fat girl in a little skirt, but it will be a goal outfit. Did I ever tell you my best bud is the BEST??? I will have to buy some stuff but I am not ready to buy nice things just yet.

What a rambling post. Sorry for that, maybe I need a nap or some ADD meds. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Believe it or not, I'm walking on air....

I never thought I could feel so free,ee,ee!

What a glorious day!!! Why you ask? Well first of all, I am blogging from my NEW COMPUTER!!! Woohoo, finally. And it is fast. I will be able to read more of your blogs and comment more. Yeah for you too in that respect (ha,ha).

Down to business. Today was weigh-in day. Now, let me preface this by saying that I had a little talk with myself this morning. We discussed how I lost 4.5 last week and so I should be happy with a 1 to 2 pound loss. I was prepared - or so I thought. I had to weigh myself 4 times to make sure the number was accurate. It sure seems to be. The number? 200.5 - that would make a 7 pound loss this week. Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!

My husband is off today and was on his crappy computer when I ran in the room in my underwear to tell him. In all my excitement I even blurted out how much I weighed at the start and how much I weighed today (before he only knew the number of pounds lost). He was blown away and did not make a negative comment about where I started (told you he was awesome).

Also, earlier this week he found out I have a blog. He knew I spent hours reading yours and he told me I should have one too. He was surprised and asked some questions about it but never asked to actually read it. So I will leave it at that for now. If he wants to read it later, I will give him the address.

This week's weight loss brought me to a new point. I felt like I was floating on air. Still do actually. First because - did you see that number? I am one pound away from one-derland. I have never mentioned it before because I never thought it would actually happen. One pound! I had that as my end of summer goal.

I also thought about what I did this week to make sure it was not a fluke weigh-in. I worked out alot. I ate my 1600 calories (even had my weekly cheat meal on Sunday) everyday. I added a pool workout but nothing too big. Then I also realized that I had a new Zumba instructor twice this week (she subbed for 2 different people). She is serious and kick-ass. We burned over 600 calories in that class in one hour. She only offers one class where she is the regular teacher which is Fridays at 5:45 in the evening. Sucky time but you can bet your bippy I will be there tonight. She maybe my good luck charm.

Also, my turbo kick boxing instructor this morning was totally off her ADD meds and she is pregnant and annoyed the shit out of me. A totally full class and she kept stopping to talk. Seriously? First she made us smell her clothes (because she thought they smelt good, not bad). Then she started talking about the bargain bin at Wal-Mart (which I hate Wal-Mart, I only go for cheap crap, otherwise I am a Target girl). She continued to stop and have side conversations with just about everyone. I was familiar with the routine so I kept going as best I could but the poor lady next to me was new and she almost ran into me multiple times. I could have burned twice the calories with a serious instructor. This is not a social hour to me. I am there to work, otherwise I will go home or run on a treadmill.

Speaking of treadmill - when I was running before my training session today I got up to an 8.0 for the last minute. So I ranged from 7.0 to 8.0 for a mile and a half. Awww yeah.

So tonight I will also be looking at what new instructors I can take classes from. I have two weeks left of fat camp and need to make the most of it.

Hope your day is as happy as mine is. I look forward to reading your blogs tonight as well so make sure you post something new!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Statistical Data

Sounds boring, I know. But fun for me. Thanks for trying to help me to post a table ladies (woohoo for TJ and Hadley!) but I will do this the lazy way I guess. Which is crappy because I like seeing things in chart and table form.

As of my fattiversary - July 15, 2009 (one year into the journey) - here are some numbers for you:
  1. Clothing size decreased 5 (or is it 10?) sizes. I went from a size 24 to a size 14.
  2. I lost 82 pounds total - I went from 288.5 pounds to 206.5 pounds.

Now I have some more numbers from the past six months. My trainer took measurements my first day but they have vanished. We did not realize this until we took measurements in January. I wish I had the original numbers because I am sure they would be far more impressive. If you haven't taken measurements (including body fat) you should. It is fun to watch the numbers. So from January 11, 2009 to July 15, 2009 (the bolded ones are the ones I am most proud of):

  1. My weight went down exactly 40 pounds (a lot slower than the first 40 pounds).
  2. Neck - down 1 inch
  3. Chest - down 4.5 inches
  4. Upper Arms - down 1 inch
  5. Forearms - no change
  6. Waist - down 7 inches (thank you zumba)
  7. Hips - down 6 inches (thank you again zumba)
  8. Upper thigh - down 4.25 inches (thank you turbo kick boxing and running)
  9. Calf - down 1 inch

I do not discount all the weight training but there are certain aerobic activities that really help tone. I am a true believer of that now.

One last number to share. This one is body fat. My trainer never took it until June 4, 2009. I am not sure why. Perhaps he thought I would cry if he did it sooner and I came up over 50% fat (which I probably was). He has since learned, nothing about this makes me cry. It is what it is. This measurement was taken at the start of fat camp.

Fat camp side note for those new to my blog - you are probably thinking what the hell is she talking about? Well last summer (before I started this journey), I looked into sending myself to a fat camp for adults. I found them. They do exist. They are not close to home and they are very expensive. It would have cost me $4000 to $6000 for 1 or 2 weeks. Not really in my budget. I was very sad because it sounded awesome. So I looked at their programs and determined that they ate restricted calories and exercised for about 3 or 4 one hour periods per day. Last summer I was lazy and thought it was too much. During the school year there is no way I could dedicate that much time to exercise. So when this summer began (and I mean the day school got out) I started my own fat camp program (minus the going away to camp). I walk the dogs every morning, run and do personal training four times per week and fill the rest of my time with group classes from the lady gym. I try to get about 3 hours of exercise per day. This week I have been working on a pool workout as well. I also eat my 1600 calories per day that I have been doing since April.

So a few numbers from fat camp:

  1. Weight - down 11.5 pounds (I know this does not sound like a lot for all my effort and I agree, however there are huge changes in my body)
  2. Body fat - down 10.05% (yes you read that right, in 40 days I decreased my body fat by 10% - my trainer nearly shit his pants)

My body is officially less than one third fat (28.65% to be exact). I just looked it up and the average woman should have a body fat in the range of 22% to 25%. Watch out world, I am getting close to average!

Random thought on body fat percentages - they say our body is 70% water. If I am almost 29% fat too, then my bones and tissue only account for 1%? What about when I was 50% body fat? My percentages equaled over 100%? Or is there water in our fat? I teach 1st grade and the numbers need to add up correctly in my mind. So I try to push these random thoughts aside and try to enjoy being less fat.

Lesson learned from all this? Don't be afraid of numbers. Today they are what they are, but you can change them. And like many people say - if I can do it, you can do it!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Blogger-Tard in Need of Help

Hey all! It is me, you blogger-tard friend. I have a statistical table I would like to insert. I have yet to figure it out (and it is easier to ask you). Anyone know? Anyone? Anyone?

I am a Hater!

What do I hate? I hate cycling/spin class. No offense to those who love it. I am glad there are so many options of things to try. I have tried a lot of classes at the lady gym. Here are a few:

  1. bodypump (totally awesome weight training)
  2. 20/20/20 (cardio, weights and core)
  3. turbo kick boxing
  4. zumba
  5. step
  6. cycling and intro to cycling (gotta say, I did not see a difference between the two classes)
  7. bodyvive (great for beginners to exercise classes)
  8. yoga

My favorites BY FAR are #1 - turbo kick boxing and #2 zumba. Last night I went to turbo kickboxing with the first instructor I ever had. I told her how she made all the difference (and trust me when I say the instructor makes all the difference) in my going from trying to survive the hour to loving it. I was actually sad when it ended last night. I also told her how I thought she was a crackpot when I first started because of some of her moves but now I can do them. So during class she had me demonstrate the high intensity moves. She was so happy that she helped to make a difference and made me love that class.

As a teacher myself, sometimes we do not realize the impact that we have on others. So if you have something nice to say, you should let that person know. Yesterday best bud and my beautiful god daughters made me a fattiversary card (and she sang to me...awww). So today I bought thank you cards for her and my husband. They need to know how great they have been.

Yesterday I made a gift basket for my trainer and made his thank you card. I did him first because man has he had to put up with a lot of my shit.

This week I am reading an awesome book called Never Say Diet by Chantel Hobbs. She lost 200 pounds and looks like a barbie doll. Some books I read and they are too complicated (I just finished the Jillian Michaels metabolism book - damn she knows alot but too much for me to understand). Chantel does the journey in steps. It also has spectacular exercises with photos. Sometimes I am just reading the same stuff over and over but I learned new things from this book and it was written in terms I could comprehend. If I were just starting on my journey, I would follow her plan. It is about baby steps - completely doable in everyday life. So if you are looking for a good read, I highly recommend it!

Okay, so I am a hater of cycling. I tried it again this week because of Chantel's book (she loves it) and I thought that maybe I did not give it a fair shake. Afterall, the first time I tried it I was about 70 pounds heavier and it took all my strength to endure 30 minutes.

Well this week I tried again. I did better. I lasted the whole time. The first 5 minutes were okay, then 25 minutes of wanting to quit because it was so hot, cramped, I felt all hunched over the bike and the instructor was so shouty, followed by 15 minutes that were okay again. Oh, and we have to clean the bikes after (not to mention the puddle of sweat on the floor). No thanks!

Do people like it because it burns so many calories or because they actually think it is fun? Dude, I barely got a bike. People were turned away from the class.

It did make me realize how much I love turbo kickboxing and the freedom of being up and moving around the room for an hour. I guess I like whole body, high mobility exercise classes. Anyway, I am thankful for the opportunity to try again. However, that will be the last time. I know it is not for me.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Fattiversary

July 15th is my Fattiversary!

So I have officially been on this journey for one year. It started as a present to myself for my 30th birthday. One or two months of personal training. Afterall, I needed to lose some weight if I ever wanted to have a baby. I would like to take you through a little then and now.

My thinking then (July 2008):
  1. Man am I fat. When I look in the mirror, it looks like someone ate me.
  2. I want to weigh less than I do now. In fact, it would be neat if I could lose 50 pounds by the time I go to Las Vegas in February. (by the way, this goal was achieved - but barely)
  3. If I could lose 40 pounds I will consider having a kid. Ha! I will never be able to lose 40 pounds. I wonder if I will ever have a kid then.
  4. Boy do I sweat a lot.
  5. Working out two days in a row (in a shared training session) really kicks my butt.
  6. The elliptical is so hard. Why do I have to do 10 minutes of cardio?
  7. Maybe someday I will be able to lower the amount of blood pressure medicine I am on. If I ever lost enough weight to get off the medicine, think of the money I could save.....that will never happen.
  8. I love my walk-away-the-pounds dvd. It is so challenging but I love doing it for 30 minutes everyday that I don't do personal training.
  9. My mom would be so proud if I lost some weight. The most I have ever lost is 24 pounds. Maybe if I work extra hard this summer I could lose that before school starts again. (this did not happen. I did lose 13 pounds but then I got stuck. I was consuming too many calories and not working hard enough. My dogs were losing more weight than me. No one really noticed my 13 pounds. I am surprised I did not give up).
  10. It sucks that I outweigh my husband by 50 pounds. I wonder if people notice.

My thinking now (July 2009):

  1. It is WAY, WAY more fun to be less fat!!
  2. I have collar bones and only one chin!
  3. My mom would shit her pants if she could see me now (she usually only sees me at Christmas).
  4. I absolutely cannot believe that I have lost 82 pounds. That is almost another adult. I wonder how far I can go.
  5. I love wearing a one piece bathing suit with no skirt. I might not look awesome but I know I look loads better.
  6. I am so proud of myself for running. Even if it is only about 1.3 miles four days a week it is good with all the other stuff I am doing.
  7. It is so much easier to even just get up and down from the floor. Amazing.
  8. I am working out a ton this summer for fat camp (like I said I would last summer but never did) but I know these are lifestyle changes I can keep for life.
  9. Yahoo! My husband now outweighs me by 20 pounds (for those of you doing the math, he lost some weight too which pissed me off when I was trying to catch him....he still does not know what I weigh.....he does not care).
  10. I cannot believe that my blood pressure is 110/60. It has never been so normal. I am so glad I am off the medicine for that.
  11. What? I can shop in regular stores? Shut up!
  12. I want to go places and see people. I am ready for the world.
  13. I feel like a better person (even though I was a good person before) for taking this journey.
  14. I cannot believe how much use I am getting out of my gym memberships. Maybe this is making up for all those years I paid for one but did not go.
  15. It is unbelievable how supportive and nice everyone has been about this journey. I should have done it way sooner.
  16. I am at the top of my priority list (at least my health is) for once. It needs to stay this way. I just hope I am not too obsessive about it.
  17. I love turbo kickboxing. I can even do the hard moves now. Who would have ever thought I could be that coordinated? Not me.
I am working on another post with some numbers and things I have learned over this past year. Hopefully it will be coming soon. Thanks for reading!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Yoga Was NOT Made for Fat People

So today was interesting. Normally I workout with my trainer but he had better plans so I went to the lady gym instead (don't worry, I made up my session with him earlier this week). I took a Zumba class and stayed for yoga (same instructor).

I have had this instructor before for Zumba and turbo kick boxing and she is little and spunky and sweet. Today I learned she is also a super, bendy pretzel girl. OMG! She did moves NO ONE in the class had any hopes of trying. We are talking standing on one leg, the other leg trying to touch your nose (in standing position mind you) while your arms were wrapped around your back. I, my friends, stood and stuck one leg out. That is about as flexible and balanced as I am.

The other lady gym has a real mellow instructor for yoga who does not try such foolishness. For that, I appreciate her. So I wanted to quit and walkout but things got better, so I stayed. Fast forward to the end of class where we tried to reverse our blood flow. This involved laying on the back of our head with our legs slung over our bodies and trying to touch our toes to the floor above our heads (kind of like a closing letter 'c'). This is where I determined (not sure why it took me so long) that yoga was not made for fat people.

I am a very stiff, muscular person so it is not easy for me anyway but add some fat to that position and it is hard to breath. I could breath fine today but if I had done that 80 pounds ago, someone would have had to unroll me just so I could catch my breathe - that I am sure of.

So I will wait for the Tuesday night class from now on (I only do it for the additional stretching, my muscles are real bad about that). Yoga at home might be an even better idea.

Did I ever bitch on here about my right knee cap hurting? Not when I exercise, but later in the day when I am walking around my house. Advil did nothing for it. My trainer loves to roll, punch and hurt my muscles. Everyday he'll say "what hurts?" and then torture ensues. We have talked about the knee cap before and he swore it was my quad muscle up by my hip (I thought he was bat-shit crazy, but I kept that to myself).

So Friday, since it was the only thing hurting, he decided to really work on that muscle (he has been working on it for weeks but it still hurt - hence the bat-shit crazy). He found a lump (muscle knot I guess) like a bar of soap and told me to just have a high pain tolerance for the day. After about 5 minutes of extreme pain from him pushing on it, it popped.

Not kidding. A serious pop in my leg that had me rolling and then up and running away from him as fast as I could. He was proud. I was mortified thinking he popped a muscle. We stretched alot and worked out. Can I tell you.....I have had NO knee pain since. It is amazing. I swam for about two hours tonight and made myself a little workout in the pool. It was delightful with no pain and being 80 pounds lighter than last summer.

The moral of the story is, sometimes it pays to let the professionals do their job. Unless they are trying to get you to bend yourself into a pretzel.

Friday, July 10, 2009


Still no computer update. The status is "in production". Slow asses. I did not make it that complicated. Bunch of butt nuts. I had to call about a problem they had with my DELL preferred account and the first guy I spoke with was so rude that I made it my mission that day to make sure someone in management knew about it. The phone system is not user friendly. And I am suspicious that my calls were being taken over seas (hmmm.....outsourcing perhaps?).

Anywho, after about 2 hours (no, I never give up) - complaint (and complements for the polite employees) was taken by a manager (or at least that is what I am told). For your future reference, if someone is rude to you - you are supposed to ask for an employee number. I got a name (hopefully he did not give me another employee's name because he was a real jackass and I told him so) and passed that along.

When I was fatter, I am not sure I would have stood up for myself so fast and let him have it the way I did. My mother would be proud (she can be a real bitch is you piss her off).

So to the news. Finally - I am overweight! YAHOO!!!!!!! Today's weigh-in brought me down on the BMI scale. I weighed in at 207.5. That is a 4.5 pound loss since last Friday (about time after a one pound gain and a week staying the same) and a total loss of 81 pounds.

I am dying to tell best bud. She will be over later. I want to tell someone in person so I can see the look on their face. I had to tell mom over the phone and hubby in a text message.

Today we had a different instructor for turbo kickboxing. She did a different round too. I was so sweaty I had to change all of my clothes before my training session. Normally I get pretty sweaty but today I looked like I stood in the shower with my clothes on. I wore it with pride but it was so sweaty that my shirt was stretching out. GROSS!!

I am working on a special post for next week. I plan on posting it Tuesday sometime. Hope you all have BIG losses and a great weekend!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I'm Still Standing

Hello friends. Thanks for all your kind words. I have not posted because I am still without a laptop. My DELL is currently being built (or so they tell me). Hopefully it will be finished and shipped soon.

In the meantime, I have been swimming and working out. You know, life at fat camp. We had so much left over food from the 4th of July weekend that best bud and family have been over the past two nights to cook it up and eat. Tonight I am having to bother her at her house for computer use. You cannot beat having a great friend!

I am coughing less (meds must be working). I did rest for a day or so (somewhat...I did do weight loss yoga). Yesterday was a triple workout day and swimming. Today was a double workout day. I am feeling it. I am hoping tomorrow's weigh in will be better than the past two weeks.

Pretty boring post, but I thought I would let you know that I am still standing. Time to catch up on your blogs. I will update with weigh-in tomorrow. Happy losing!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Day From HELL...

Hello blogger friends! I am here....barely. I made it back from the holiday weekend okay. I was dirty and tired but I had lots of fun.

But then as I worked on my computer last night it froze. I worked on it half the night and it would only start up half the time and the other half of the time it would freeze within 3 minutes. FRUSTRATING!!! So I gave up about 1am and went to bed.

Got up at 6am for a training session where my trainer proceeded to tell me I look like shit (thanks for that) and need to rest. Then I had an awesome coughing fit and he annoyed me for about 45 minutes until I agreed to go to the doc (where I waited for an hour after my appointment time to be seen).

The verdict is....respiratory infection. Yeah for me (and Z packs). So tomorrow I shall take the day off - but the fat camp administration is NOT happy about it.

So then it was back home to deal with my computer. I spent TWO HOURS on the phone with some really nice (yet heavily accented fellow) in a foreign land. I performed surgery on the laptop multiple times.

The diagnosis is.....fried motherboard. Oh sucky, sucky! I have a super slow desktop from 1995 (which my poor husband uses every night) and we attempted to go online and build and order a new computer. HA!

Let's just say I am now at best bud's house using one of her fabulous computers to order a new one for myself. It is ordered.....estimated to be delivered in about 3 weeks. I hope that is a conservative estimate and it will actually be sooner. Time will tell.

Good news - my old computer was 6 years old so I ordered a much better one for way less money this go around.

Bad news - I have tons of pictures and files on that computer that are going to be a pain to get off with a fried motherboard.

Other decent news - I ate some crap this weekend but in moderation. The scale was at 211.5 this morning. But no more weighing until Friday. If I do not lose weight this week, I blame my trainer. He is making me cut back for two days. The thought of it is giving me Restless Leg Syndrome.

Hope you all had a super holiday (and for those outside of the US, I hope you had a great weekend anyway). May you all be HUGE LOSERS this week!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Don't Shit Your Pants...

This is what I had to tell myself yesterday. Why? I went shopping for a shirt to wear for the 4th of July. What did I do? Walk right to the plus-size section. Old habits die hard. Once I redirected myself, I decided to try on a few shirts and a dress. All XL. I went back out and got a lot more dresses and different sizes. Obviously I bought one I liked. This is where I had to tell myself not to shit my pants. It is a medium. Now granted it is a "stretch" material dress but I would have never dared to try that before. The sides look a little funny but it has pockets there.

I also got my haircut and my hairdresser is trying to convince me to wear it curly. Hence why it is curled in the picture (I told my husband I got a perm...he believed me). After I bought said dress, I had to run over to best bud's house to see if I need to return it. She liked it so it shall stay.

I have to present to all the 1st grade teachers in my district on August 19th. I emailed my trainer and told him I want to wear this and it is his new goal to make sure I can wear it without embarrassing myself (anymore than I already do). Brown leggings maybe added to this later on if we think it is too short.

So there it is. My new goal - size medium dress.

In other news - my scale f**king sucks! That, or someone needs to explain to my body about the formula for weight loss (calories in - calories out). My lady troubles are over. I have recovered. I have eaten perfectly (1600/calories per day with balanced meals) since last Wednesday (the day of the salty birthday meal). I have worked out incredibly hard and gave it my all. And what does the scale say? 212. No change (which is better than I gain, I know).

I will not say this was a wasted week because I can tell I am toning up (6 to 7 classes of turbo kickboxing, Zumba and yoga each week for the past 3 weeks plus walking, running and personal training sessions - how could I not?) .

So basically I am working out 3 to 4 hours per day and eating a good diet. I can totally understand how on the Biggest Loser (which I am watching in reruns for more motivation - thanks FLN) they can workout for 6 to 8 hours per day, eat less calories than I do, then get up on a scale in front of the nation in their sports bra and spandex shorts exposing their floppy bellies, lose 1 crappy pound (or 0 or gain) and cry.

I do not want to cry. I want the scale to reflect my hard work. I am super happy with me at the moment. I guess I need a break. I am about to leave for the holiday weekend. Going with best bud and family to their lake house. I shall swim and chase babies and relax. I shall do my best to eat in moderation (not really a term in my vocabulary - ever!). But if I return on Monday with a 10 pound gain, my body and I maybe at war.

Enough with my bitching. Thanks so much for all your lovely comments this week. I am glad to see that I am not the only one who got fat because they just like to eat. I will catch up on your blogs and leave you some great pearls of wisdom come Sunday night or Monday. Stay strong this weekend. And is supposed to be 103 here.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Why Did I Get Fat?

I really want this weight loss to be permanent. So I have studied up on weight loss, diets, exercise, metabolism, etc. One of the things that I have noticed is that experts believe that if you do not want to put the weight back on, you need to deal with the issues of why you put it on in the 1st place.

I have thought about this for at least 8 months. I am still clueless. I think I just liked to eat in excess and not move. I drank a lot too.

I was never small. Or medium for that matter. The smallest I ever was, was a large or size 12 and that was in middle school and high school. My weight went up about 30 pounds the first two years of college but went way down my Senior year (due to seven kinesiology classes and lots of walking on campus).

I gained about 100 pounds once I moved to Texas but it took about 8 years. That is an average of just over one pound per month. Not too noticeable at first, but boy does it rack up.

My best friend and I moved here together and within a year our friendship soured and she moved back home. We are no longer in contact but that is a good thing for me (she had serious emotional issues that she took out on me). My life has gone nowhere but up since she left (including my weight). Side note- I had an awesome childhood. It was strange but nothing traumatic ever happened to me.

So I ask myself again.....why did I get so fat? I just do not have an answer. I really thought my body would top out at some point. Even though I have seen shows where people weigh 900+ pounds, I thought that I would stop at some point. I thought my body would say "230....that is your limit. Keep eating but you will not gain anymore weight."

Um.....I was so wrong. The day I weighed in at 288.5, I realized 300 was right around the corner and that I could end up bed ridden or have a stroke and my husband would have to put me in a home. That is no way to live. We also want to start a family and it is not fair to a baby to get pregnant the way I was.

So I have changed. I am pretty sure it is forever. I will have to take it day by day like an alcoholic but I have been doing it for almost a year and love it. So, do I really need a reason for why I got fat other than I was lazy and liked to eat? Does it HAVE to be something deeper than that?

I am not in therapy. Maybe I should be, but I consider you all like my group therapy sessions. I am trying to do the work, it is just difficult to find the right answers.

Also - Fat camp is kicking my ass this week. I am going out of town for the 4th so I am really working hard Mon through Thurs. 4 straight days with my trainer is pain enough in itself. Not to mention all the turbo kickbooxing, zumba and yoga (although this is pretty much like relaxing). Today I had to leg press 360 pounds. I also felt the need to tell my trainer I was not a dude. He did not care and I had to do it anyway. My legs and ass better look really good by the end of the summer.

I have peeked at the scale this week (bad idea with the lady troubles) and it has not been kind. I am hoping that by Friday morning some of the water weight will go away. Did you hear that water weight? GO AWAY!

I feel better. Thanks for listening. It is almost time for another Zumba class with my favorite instructor. That will cheer me up. Peace out!