Thursday, January 29, 2009

Early Weigh-In

So today's weigh-in results I am down 1.5 pounds this week. Not too shabby since I ate out three times last week. So altogether that is 46 pounds. I feel like I have been in the 40 pound range forever. Eating out tonight probably will not help with that but I am hoping it will be the only time I eat out for the week.

Last night's workout was challenging. Lots of sweat. I have worked my way up to running at 4 minute intervals on the treadmill during warm-up. Not bad since my fear is losing my footing, falling, flying off the treadmill and damaging my face.

Am I the only one with this fear? What are your public workout fears?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Inclement Weather Day

No school today! Yahoo. Since I live in a southern locale, the roads will be fine by the time I need to workout with my trainer. This has delayed the dogs' walk and they seem a little peeved about that. So what have I been doing? Catching up on blogs and tivo. I have two tivos so that can add up to a lot of shows. I did realize today how many weight-related shows I had recorded. Here is what I had:
  1. Oprah (Monday and Tuesday) - teens facing weight issues - this was really good
  2. Biggest Loser - Wow! I think this game is going to change a little. What a competition!
  3. Fat Free Fiances (on FLN) - This show is really good but I do not see the weight loss as sustainable.
  4. Buldging Brides (on FLN) - pretty decent, yet again not very sustainable weight loss.
  5. Diet Tribe (on Lifetime) - This is a group of friends that at times seem slightly dysfunctional but they are sweet and the trainer cares and is super cute.

Even with all these inspiring shows, my training sessions, increased ability to jog/run, weight watcher meetings, awesome blog posts, and incredibly generous complements from everyone I still find it hard to get my act together and stick with everything. It is like I lost my balance and trying to find it again is sooooo hard. Is this true for anyone else? I mean I would think that by the end of January I would have my sh*t together by now. I am doing it all but it does seem harder than it was before the holidays.

Also, tomorrow is my husband's birthday. So I am going to cheat and move my at home weigh-in to Thursday morning. Just for this week. Next week I will go back to Friday. I do not think it will hurt. I do not plan on being too bad but we are going to one of our favorite places and they have what we call our "death row" meal. You know, if you were allowed one more meal before you die, what it would be and where it would be from. Yup - some serious Irish nachos for me.

Well good luck to everyone this week and I will try and go to turbo kick-boxing before my death row meal tomorrow to try and alleviate some of my guilt.

Peace out!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Friday Home Weigh-In

Not much to say. Weigh-in from yesterday is 244. Down 2.5 pounds this week. Not too bad. I actually got back to turbo kick-boxing for the first time since the beginning of December and it seemed easier. That may be because it was a different instructor, but I want to think it is because I am in better shape. I shall live in my delusions. At least for today.

Happy Weekend!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Time to Sweat!

Picture 1 - Me at work today (not a flattering outfit - too big)

Pictures 2 and 3 - Me after I really worked today (blurry but still sweaty). Do not be fooled there is also a sports bra under there drenched in sweat.

Friends, we are all working at it - hard! I feel this time the weight loss will be permanent because it is not just restricted calories in, we are also burning it off from the inside.
There is a long way to go but I feel good so far.
How do you feel today?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Wanna See Something Gross?

Picture 1 - Aloha Fatty!

Picture 2 - Holy Cow!

I know it is kind of like when someone says "this smells awful, smell it." You really don't want to but the other person is insistent. Why? Because the offensive odor is so unbelievable it must be shared.

And so? I must share. What you are witnessing is graphic and is intended for mature audiences only.....just kidding! My best friend and I had some tremendous laughs looking for some of the worst before pictures we could find. There were a lot to choose from, including many swimsuit photos (she is camera crazy because of her twin daughters and there is no stopping her so it is easier to just ignore her and her camera).

The before pics we were looking for were not for this blog. My friends and family are not aware of this blog yet. I am not sure when/if I will tell them. There are all super supportive but I feel like this something I have to do for me. Create my own support system that does not always involve them.

But I thought that these pics were too funny not to share. I am not sensitive about my weight so let the comments fly! Especially since I no longer look like that. Tomorrow is a trainer day and I will try to get a nice sweaty workout pic. Since everyone else is doing it I will show me at my loveliest.

So...stay tuned.

Monday, January 19, 2009

My New Obsession

My weight loss has created a new obsession in me. Wait for it.....

Crossing my legs!

I know this may sound ludicrous to other people (especially smaller people) but it has been so long since I was comfortable doing it that I want to do it all the time! And I do. I do it when I read the kids a story at school (about 5-6 times a day), when I sit absolutely anywhere in public, even at home when I am alone. I am aware that I am not as graceful at it as others. I think it will get better and easier the more I lose.

When I was bigger I would look at people in waiting rooms and think, "man look at that show-off, crossing her legs." I know this was the little green monster in me and that other people do not think crossing their own legs for their own comfort would offend anyone, but in my head, it did.

But that is a thing of the past now. I am now the offensive person in the waiting room. I have to admit.....I kind of like it!

May the leg crossing continue! Has anyone else discovered new obsessions with weight loss?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Did You See My New Key Chain?

Weight Watchers day! So I weighed-in. Last week's water weight is definitely gone.

The Results......9 pound loss
The ladies were a bit surprised. So was I. In my meeting of 100 weight watchers, I was the only one who got a key chain this week. Oh yes....10% goal has been met. Not quite sure if I get another goal or not. No biggy because I am certainly not done. Today was a big milestone because according to my home scale I weigh 244. This is exactly what I weighed on my wedding day. So I told my husband (he does not know the actual number, not that he would care) I weigh the same as May 15th 2004. He said "you could wear your wedding dress again."
So, I did. At 9:00 this morning I got out my super-duper bra, the fluffy thing that went under the dress, the dress and of course my veil. It all seemed to go on a little easier. And then I realized that even though I weigh the same (and I had lost about 15 pounds the three months prior to the wedding) this time I have been working out. The dress was a little too big. It gaped in the back and could have been taken in about 2 inches.
Working out does make a difference in body shape. Muscle does weigh more than fat. My shoulders are more square now so straps don't fall off my fat neck/collar bone/shoulder combo.
I am 5'10 and used to have good lookin' legs (you know I loved rockin' the short skirts). When I got fat they morphed into these elephant legs. You know, they were big all over and did not have much shape to them. Well they did have cellulite shape. This made me sad. I have not worn skirts in years. Today in the shower I noticed they are getting shapely again. I have knees! Some shapely thighs with less cellulite as well.
I must remember this each time I am doing awful exercises. I know they are good for me but man do they burn!
So I had a realization today. For me, happiness with my body has nothing to do with a number. I didn't used to think so. But then I thought about it. On the way up the scale when I was 244 (May 15th 2004 does not count because I was ultra excited and cared nothing about weight) I thought I was the size of a house and felt awful but on the way down the scale I think I look decent and feel light as a feather. It is all about my state of mind. I am not delusional. I am aware that I am still huge. But I am less huge than I was at 288.5. And today, that is enough.
I wonder where everyone else's happiness lies? In numbers? State of mind? Please tell me, I would love to know!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Friday's Weigh In

Well I have made my official home weigh-in day Fridays. Yes, I have 2 weigh-in days. I have no choice but to have the weight watchers weigh in, which is fine. However, I began my weight loss journey on July 15th 2008. I started by working out and cutting back a little on food. I did not join weight watchers until October 26th 2008. So I try not to count my weight watcher weigh-ins too much.

That said, after my "lady troubles" and crappy eating (one dangerous meal with lots of french fries and sodium-YUM) last week my weight was WAY UP. To be honest, I ate bad Friday night, ate well and worked out on Saturday, stepped on the scale Sunday morning to see 254.5. Now that pissed me off. That meant I was up 6 pounds in a week. I was praying at least some was water weight. So all week I ate well, drank lots of water, did my workouts (4 trainer sessions this week).

The result? Yesterday's weigh-in was 246.5. That is down 8 pounds since Sunday and a grand total of 42 pounds since July. I am happy now. I feel like I can finally get back to normal. I feel like I lost a month of work somehow from all this and that sucks. I will not travel so much next year.

My trainer said my new goal is to be a size 10 by May. I laughed loudly at this. I had to tell him that I came out of the womb a size 12 and have never been a 10. He thinks it is possible. I question his sanity. I did make other goals he set that I thought were impossible, so who knows.

My goal? I seriously would like to be able to wear pants without having what looks like a butt in the front and be able to tuck in a shirt. Oohhh, and wear a belt. I also have a spectacular swimming pool in my backyard that I designed and spent all summer in last year so I guess looking better in bathing suits would be nice too. Not so much for me, as for all my guests. Perhaps I could get a swimsuit without a skirt attached to it. It's been a good four years since that has happened I believe.

I wonder what you all have as ultimate goals? Dress sizes? Numbers on the scale? Feeling good inside? Running a marathon (why do so many people who lose weight do this?)? I hope you meet your goals, whatever they are.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Training Troubles

I have a great trainer, at least I think I do. Of course I hate him at times - like in 5 minute intervals when he pushes me to do exercises I do not want to do. Monday's session involved me on the floor, a big exercise ball and some tremendous pelvic thrusts. Did not take a long time but it killed my hamstrings.

Do you ever get that tight, squinchy (is that a word? it is a feeling I have) muscle ache feeling? Like the muscles will never relax? That feeling has stuck with me and for today's training session he decided to do more foam rolling of my muscles and extra stretching.

For anyone who has not been foam rolled, it sucks. This super buff trainer takes a long circular piece of foam (I have graduated to what amounts to a metal bar) and he puts as much pressure/weight on it as he can and rolls it over your already sore and knotted muscles. I think this is where the term "no pain, no gain" came from.

So he did this for about 20 minutes today. He does this to me every chance he gets. Why? Because I am whiny and deserve to be punished and I have muscles that are a flexible as tire rubber.

His advice (and mine to avoid the roller) - STRETCH. Stretch til you feel it and hold it. Stretch at least once a day.

Off to stretch (again) should too!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I Made Weigh-In!

So, after three missed weeks at weight watchers, I made weigh-in today. I did not want to because of the past few weeks:

1st - I worked really hard to hit 40 pounds lost before holiday. Weight went down.

2nd - Went on holiday, worked out little, ate a lot. Weight went up.

3rd - Got DEATH FLU. Weight went down.

4th - As soon as I recovered from DEATH FLU, I got an ample case of "lady troubles," ate like a horse, retained water. Weight went way up.

For this last reason I predicted a 5 pound gain at weigh in and really pondered if I should go. Then I thought of all of you. It occurred to me that you all have been through all this and much worse. You would say nice, encouraging things like; you can do it - next week will be a loss, just get back in the habit, don't give up you worked so hard. All of these things are true.

Then this mean, awful voice filled my head. It was me. Enough is enough! Quit whining about all your so called "issues" and MOVE YOUR ASS!

So with that lovely thought I went to weigh in. There were about 100 people. That is an increase of about 40 people. They were finishing their first week and were happy and had losses. I was glad I saw them all - they give me hope. I need out of my crappy rut.


Could always be worse. So I sit here drinking tons of water, I may turn into a sprinkler. I am about to walk my dogs - that will help, right?

I am retaining so much water and am so bloated that I feel like the friggin' stay puft marshmallow man. Look out world, here I waddle!
Have a super, successful week!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Need Cheese For That Whine? YES!!

Well, within 7 hours of my last post my husband got DEATH FLU. He has been home for two days "recovering". I am just jealous and being snarky. If I had a job where I could call in, I would have. But anyone who teaches a primary grade knows that is not worth creating sub plans and trying to find a sub.

It is easier to take upto 4 imodium per day (read today), advil for pain, pepto, attempt to workout, still walk the dogs (but not too far from a toilet), go to the grocery store at 6am so your husband has sprite and pudding (his comfort foods - not mine), keep doing the 7 loads of laundry that someone else could have done on Sunday while I was sick, cook dinner (because you are starving from lack of food), finally eat and when the imodium weakens - bam! you have to pause the Biggest Loser about a dozen times to use the restroom. Since you do all this you get about 4 hours of sleep and get to work on it all again the next day.

Not the best week of my life I must admit. However, we are still very fortunate to have each other and our general health so I will shut up about DEATH FLU for a while.

So who saw Biggest Loser? Can you believe the twist at that first weigh-in??? That is CRAY-Z!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Missed Another Weigh-In

Sorry Weight Watchers! I feel I failed you somehow. I attend the Sunday afternoon meeting because it is the only day of the week I don't have other things scheduled. I missed the two previous Sundays because I was out of town on the never-ending holiday. I was actually looking forward to getting back to my regular routine with diet and exercise (see previous whinny posts about training).

The reason I missed? Well, after working out again on Saturday morning I was as sore as I could be. My best friend (and workout buddy) has twin babies so it is always better if I go to her house to hang out (what is baby proofing anyway?). I went over and made us a nice healthy dinner with lots of vegetables (read raw carrots here). Around 10:00 pm I knew what was coming. I had to leave right away (her house was having plumbing issues). I was struck with the DEATH FLU.

There is no other term for something so awful. I was exhausted and super sore and had to heave myself out of bed every 15 minutes (no exaggeration - just ask my husband) from 10:30 until 6:30 the next morning. Eventually it slowed to every hour and then I think my body just gave out. I hardly moved from bed and could not face all the new, super pumped new Weight Watcher members. Also, spreading something as awful as DEATH FLU is pure evil.

The upside - I lost that 3 pounds from holiday.

The other hard part was today was the 1st day back at school and I was not sure I would make it through. I did it! But when training time came I could not imagine jumping, running, and crunching abs so I will have to move one workout to the end of the week.

So tonight has been lots of cleaning, laundry, and cloroxing every surface I have been in contact with. At least until my husband gets it.

May you all stay healthy and try not to miss your weigh-ins!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Annual Doc's Visit

So today I went to the doc for my yearly physical. After waiting for 50 minutes I told them they had 20 minutes to get me out of there. My doc is awesome. It was the fastest physical ever! I only had to wait because so many other docs took off for extended holiday. What losers. The funny part was me sitting in my oh so fashionable paper gown and when she walked in, she noticed right away I had lost weight. I thought - "wow! this paper must be really flattering." I realized I must have lost weight in my face - bonus! I had to leave in order to make my workout with my trainer. I am less sore today so it was okay. Not the most enjoyable day I have had but it can always be worse.

In other random thoughts: is anyone else excited about the new season of Biggest Loser starting on Tuesday?

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Sorry Y'all - I'm "Special"

Thanks so much to the veteran bloggers; Operation Stick To It! and The Woman Inside Me. I did not realize that you could not leave comments on this blog. I believe that the situation has been rectified and I do welcome any comments/advice/wisdom you want to share. I learn something new everyday. Thanks again ladies!

Happy New Year!!

Ow!! Well I went out for New Years. My husband's and my best friend's shut down their bar for a private party. That was great. I did not eat or drink too much but I knew I was in trouble when I could feel a few muscles (from working out earlier) as the night wore on. Essentially I went to bed about 4 this morning. I tried to get up about noon. I say tried because I can feel just about every muscle from working out. I have not been this sore since I started working out in July. We are talking abs - lots of 'em, my arse - too many lunges, arms - push ups and machines, even my feet - although that may be from the new years party. I think I will wait to walk the dogs. There will be no trotting today. At least I am aware that I worked some muscles yesterday. However, we are working out again tomorrow and it is even harder to do sore. I guess I will just have to whine more.

Happy New Year!!