Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Baby Basics with Hubby

Tonight hubby and I took a baby basics class (for him, not me). It was at the hospital for 2 and 1/2 hours. Lots of couples. Many questions. Discussions followed. So proud of my hubby for taking notes. He had me read his notes. Here they are. I am writing them just as he did.

Baby Basics
  1. Bumper pads will kill baby.
  2. Blankets will kill baby, turn heat up instead.
  3. Stuffed animals assassinate baby.
  4. Books are bad.
  5. Babies like to listen to hair dryers or vacuums.
  6. It is important to have a pediatrician, you do need one.
  7. Girl in the back does not remember having her umbilical cord (yes, she actually said this). She thinks she did not have one or that it was cut off.
  8. Baby clothes are fire-proof - good for racing (I am not sure where this came from).
  9. Books have people's opinions in them.
  10. Using water out of the fridge is bad for babies.
  11. Babies temperatures are high like dogs. 104 is when you have to worry.

Please note we do not actually believe these things. Hubby tends to be a smart-ass and was making fun of one girl in class. Thanks to her we got off track MANY times. Questions were also asked like "If my baby has an outie belly button, what did I do wrong? I want an innie." I tried not to laugh and time flew by. We did learn a few actual things. I wrote those down.

The surprising part is that we were all older parents to be in there. I am 32, hubby is 37. There were many people older than us in there. I would think some of these questions would have been asked by teenagers. Oh well, more entertainment for me!


Crys said...

I volunteer in a NICU. I'm always shocked to see a grown woman who's never changed a diaper or held a baby... Definitely entertaining!

Johanna said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the ferg!

cmoursler said...

Hey, lol...lord, I am worried about that babies future with that mother.
I wonder why there isn't a mandatory class to get a license to be a parent.
lol....stuffed animals assassinate babies.
They do make you paranoid.
It's getting close...How excited you must be!

Joy said...

Oh that's funny!! Your hubby is a crack up!


big_mummy said...

good for racing! bahhahhhhaaaa

mommaof3ontherun said...

Too funny....what I've realized is that my friends are fairly smart compared to many in the general public, LOL

Jenn said...

Hah, that list is awesome!!!

Blossom said...

Hahaha, your hubby's list made me laugh!

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Hahahaha! Hilarious list! Your husband is a crack up :D

Alison said...

LOL I love his list (stuffed animals will assassinate baby made me snort my tea :P), can he please train my husband who will not take any baby classes. I also loved the comparison of babies to dogs.

There was really a woman who didn't remember having her umbilical cord, or thought it was cut off???? Where do these people come from and that poor poor child... When you put it in the list I thought she must be a teen, then I read further and was really disturbed... Sounds like you got some good laughs out of her though.

Pam said...

Thanks for the laugh! I love how freaked out people get with new babies and how some of them believe anything! My three year old should have never lived to see one month if you listen to them - he slept in a crib with bumpers and stuffed animals on his belly under a nice heavy blanket -- oh the horror! ; )

Paula Rodriguez said...

Too funny. I was a teen mother and I think it's fair to say I would NOT have asked such silly questions.

Great post. Hubby is a pretty funny guy.


Miss S. said...

LOL and per the Highway Patrol-those little car mirrors you use to see baby in the back seat will also kill you. You should give your husband some tongs & duct tape with a new baby "tool" belt. Sounds like he'll be needing it.