Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Research isn't always a good thing

The basic premise to losing weight is simple....take in fewer calories than you burn. We all know that put into action, it is more complex. What you eat makes a difference, how much cardio and weight training you need to do varies on results you want and your body type.

As I went along my weight loss journey, I did TONS of research. I read COUNTLESS weight loss memoirs, magazine articles, books written by doctors and trainers. I, of course, searched the Internet and read your blogs. I still read these things - daily.

So when I wanted to get pregnant, I started doing the same thing. There are somethings I just find hard to believe. If you have a regular cycle (sorry boys) there is a small window of a a few days each month that you can fertilize an egg. I think it adds up to about 30 to 40 days total all year and that is if you are regular and functioning properly which most of us are not. Are you kidding me? Are you telling me that all the "oops" and "I got pregnant my first time" and "I got pregnant while on birth control" and the TONS of babies born each year are all because these women had "relations" on one of the just right days in the year? I am not saying it isn't true, I am saying it is EXTREMELY hard for me to believe. And then I have to ask, if you do not complete your cycle for 2 more weeks after those days, what happens to the egg? If it cannot be fertilized, where does it go?

I should have known then to just stop reading. It spurs too many questions for me. Oh, did I ever mention my mother is a nurse for OBGYNs? So guess who I call with EVERY question? She gets a little annoyed. I make her ask the doctors things that I think embarrass her sometimes. But I need to know!!

There are these evil people out there who write these things called pregnancy books. So far, these books are horrible. I keep trying more of them and going on to the next chapter thinking it gets better. It doesn't. I thought I would feel better once I had a sonogram and heard a heartbeat. I did, for about a day. I was reading this book about week 8 of pregnancy and it starts out all good and sweet with drawings and how it is the size of a kidney bean and it has elbows that bend. Then, BAM!! The rest of the chapter is about miscarriage. Which I have read LOTS about already. I know it is a possibility but really does it need to be in EVERY chapter of EVERY book? This time it was about how it happens alot (they think) due to the age of the sperm. If the male is over the age of 35. My husband is 37. NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT THAT A-HOLES. They should have one chapter called "Let me depress and scare the SHIT out of you" so we can skip it and move on to actual USEFUL information.

Of course I called my ma to ask about statistics on miscarriage after you hear a heartbeat. After she asked around, she said 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage before there is a heartbeat (so 25%) and the risk drops to 5% after there is a heartbeat. So why is there so much written to scare us all when the reality of that actual population is so small? And do you know what is written about it? "We don't know why this happens" or "No actual studies have been done to determine the cause" blah, blah, blah. THEN DON'T WRITE ABOUT IT!!

My mother's advice? "Stop reading all that crap!" She is wise beyond her years. But I want to know what things to expect that are interesting (not scary). I guess I will continue to read with caution. Sorry for the bitching. I think it would be less stressful to lose 115 pounds again. In fact, I know it would. I have experience at that. Weight loss people are WAY more logical.


Shelli Ryan said...

I totally agree with you about some of these pregnancy books. I like What to Expect when you're expecting so far but I skip any part that talks about miscarriage. It does not service me to even read this or think that it is a possibility.
I have another book " Your Pregnancy week by week" and it said some very harsh statements. One of which was " if you have morning sickness you won't have a miscarriage". Why did they even write that? I'm not having morning sickness and I don't want to read about this!!
I think I'm done reading until week 12!

BEE said...

im just going to say
it is so normal to be worried constatntly when your pregnant
i did
and then you haev the child and you worry forever to
its just normal
so dont stress so much
all i do when i am stressing like this is pray and have faith everything is goign to be ok
but i just wanted to let you know everything you are feeling is normal just breath pray and enjoy your pregnancy

Anonymous said...

Yes...stop reading!! I had the what to expect when your expecting book. When I was in labor with baby #2, it was not going like my perfectly smooth baby #1 experience. The doc comes in and says...ok you are going to try to push twice...and we're going to see if this "can" happen. Can? What the heck? Within minutes...the room is rushing around and they tell me you're having a c-section RIGHT NOW!! Me and my OCD crazy mentality....I look at my husband and say..."I skipped that part of the book. I can't have a c-section!!" My husband looks at me like I've lost my mind and says...."Well honey...sorry you didn't read that part...but it's happening."

By the way, I gave you a little shout out on my post today. Your post yesterday spoke to me. OK...that sounds corny, but I hope you know what I mean :)

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

I agree with Bee...once a that little life begins, you never stop worrying...just WHAT you're worrying about changes.

My kids are 6 and 8 years old, and I've worried about stuff right from the beginning. Parenthood is a leap of faith, that is for sure!

If you read everything out there, it'll drive you insane.

Just read the "normal development" sections (unless something unusual is happening, and even then, just go to your doctor).

Welcome to being a mommy...!

FollowMeDown30 said...

Bee nailed it. You'll worry about all kinds of crazy stuff and feel like a failure at times. But in the end-just decide the kind of parent you want to be and strive every day to be that person.

Anonymous said...

Mom knows best! Stop reading that crap! lol. You're gona drive yourself insane (or more so than you already are. hehe)!

Jenn said...

I know, those books have a lot of doomsday scenarios in them!
Have you read "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy"? It's a very funny take on pregnancy - much better than the "expert" books!

Melissa said...

Conceiving Hayden was SO hard... it took us a year (the whole time with assistance). It doesn't make sense all the time. You can't do anything to make it happen. It just does (when it does) - and that can be AWFUL. At least it was for me. I'm a planner. For me, I want to be able to work for something or earn it... but you can't do that with pregnancy.

It should all work out for the best... I can't say it will, because you never know. But hopefully all will be well.

Good luck.

- Melissa

Alison said...

I feel you, try being 37 and pre-menopausal, odds are against me but we still try, been 6 months now. So glad you are pregnant and steop driving yourself absolutely crazy!
I'll second "Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" my sister loved it and hated all others.
Finally, my mother likes to point out how ironic my fertility is as she got pregnant on 3 differnet forms of BC including the IUD! My sister got preggers first month trying, seriously unfair! But it does happen to people that one lucky day, grrrrr :p
I can't wait to follow your pregnancy and eating your blog is great, just send me some pregnancy vibes :P

Christina@Health Foodie said...

Maybe this makes it more believable. But the birth control method I use RELIES on this to be true.

I measure my temperature everyday in the morning and I can calculate when I will be fertile (taking into account that sperm can survive a couple of days inside). So we just do not have sex during the fertile days in the month. That's it. We have been doing it for years. No baby yet. ;)

Christina@Health Foodie said...

Maybe this makes it more believable. But the birth control method I use RELIES on this to be true.

I measure my temperature everyday in the morning and I can calculate when I will be fertile (taking into account that sperm can survive a couple of days inside). So we just do not have sex during the fertile days in the month. That's it. We have been doing it for years. No baby yet. ;)

FattyPatty said...

I felt the same way. Those books are poisionous and dangerous. Don't read! In fact, my doctor told me pregnancy women should not read for 9 months. LOL! I really had to step away from the books and the online websites because I would get so upset. It was the best thing for me. I just went with the flow and let nature and instint take over. I did read to see where I was and how the baby was growing, but stopped there. Also, beware of the online baby message boards too. Also a dangerous playground!

Patti said...

I totally agree. I felt the same way while pregnant; totally overloaded with information that turned me into a worrying wreck!! I got so irritated when would send me all those newsletters about my baby and then just reitterate that miscarriages are common, etc.

I tried to just focus energy on my baby and trust God with my pregnancy. That is all you can do!

Pam (the loooz-ahhhh) said...

Bless your Heart! I was the same way when I was pregnant with my first baby. I worried about one thing or another until he was born. He's a healthy, intelligent rambunctious three year old now, and was worth all of the worry, even though looking back, I wish I hadn't worried quite so much.
Everything will work out just fine!

CJ said...

Please stop reading the crap!!!I have no experience with pregnancy but I would say someting logical, follow your instincts. Visit ob/gyn regularly. And keep a happy frame of mind. Please dont stress yourself with those horrid books!!!