Sunday, August 9, 2009

All By Myself

Man have I been thinking the last two days. Those wheels were turning and boy did it hurt! I have decided to go about this journey alone from here on out (at least for now). I am capable, I just have to prove it to myself. Until I finish reading up on the Biggest Loser diet I am going with 1400 calories per day (middle of the road for me) but with carbs!

As for fitness, this is my last week for fat camp so I will be doing a little more than when the school year starts (I will also be working in my room and lugging tons of boxes and crap around). After this week, I have created a pretty good schedule at the lady gym. I am going to use this computer program they have that is like a virtual personal trainer for strength training 3 times per week. Then I will do a bunch of classes on top of that.

I am so excited and happy about these decisions. I feel so free!!! If something isn't working I can just change it. I know it sounds retarded to those of you have been doing this solo for so long but I was using my trainer as a crutch. No more crutch, no one to blame or bitch to (except for you all).

I had money set aside to pay my trainer next week. So what did I do? I went shopping!! I even got to take best bud with me (which is rare that we can go out without the twins). We went to an outlet mall and right when I told her we had to leave because I was gonna open a can of whop-ass on those slow shits blocking my walkway, I saw it. A Banana Republic outlet. We had to go in. I tried on so much stuff and got some AWESOME things. This is totally my favorite store now. And the prices were not too bad (I know it is because it was an outlet but I am still proud).

Today I spent hours and hours purging my closet of everything that no longer fits. It is pretty bare in there but I was so happy doing it. Smiling ear to ear. It felt like a cleansing therapy sort of weekend. I feel renewed. It's like I am starting a whole new journey now. I am excited. I am so motivated, I will not let myself fail. It may take longer all by myself but I think it will be more satisfying.

Oh yeah, a few hours ago I got a HUGE text message from my former trainer. He basically said he thinks I misunderstood and that I hurt his feelings but that he still wants to train me.

Um......I don't think so. When you walk out on someone after they ask you not to leave, I think you make a very clear statement that cannot be misunderstood. And that statement to me was - I do not want your business, find a better way to spend your money. So I did. Yeah for me!!


Hadley said...

Congrats on all the fabulous new clothes! Banana Republic has amazing stuff. While I don't fit into any of their pants by a long shot, I do still have a few BR sweaters and shirts I wear to work that I love love love.

I think you'll be fine doing it on your own, and from how your trainer treated you earlier, I think you're better off without him. Enjoy the freedom!

S. said...

I am totally impressed with what you've done up to now and I can't wait to hear more about where you go from here!

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Screw the trainer. You'll be fine. There is so much information available to help you. Glad to hear you're taking it as an opportunity, as that's what it is! :)

Nice job on the little shopping spree!

Melanie said...

Sometimes we just need to learn tools or be reminded that we already know them. Your trainer did that for you; he served him purpose and now you're set to work your plan YOUR way. You'll do great.
Fun, fun on the shopping. Can't wait to shop in a store that isn't a fat chick store. Fifty or 60 more pounds until I see that.
Take some pictures of your cute purchases. I need some clothing motivation.

Mae Flowers said...

I bet you're having so much fun shopping for all of those skinny clothes! :)

Way to go on firing the trainer! What a jerk for walking out like that!

Deb said...

Your trainer sounds like an a-hole.

Banana Republic - that's one of my goal shops. Good for you!

Aimee said...

i wanna see pics of some of the new clothes!!! :)

Karyn said...

Yay for new clothes!

You sound very positive and upbeat about this change in your journey. Good luck with it!