Early Weigh-In

So today's weigh-in results are....242.5....so I am down 1.5 pounds this week. Not too shabby since I ate out three times last week. So altogether that is 46 pounds. I feel like I have been in the 40 pound range forever. Eating out tonight probably will not help with that but I am hoping it will be the only time I eat out for the week.

Last night's workout was challenging. Lots of sweat. I have worked my way up to running at 4 minute intervals on the treadmill during warm-up. Not bad since my fear is losing my footing, falling, flying off the treadmill and damaging my face.

Am I the only one with this fear? What are your public workout fears?

Inclement Weather Day

No school today! Yahoo. Since I live in a southern locale, the roads will be fine by the time I need to workout with my trainer. This has delayed the dogs' walk and they seem a little peeved about that. So what have I been doing? Catching up on blogs and tivo. I have two tivos so that can add up to a lot of shows. I did realize today how many weight-related shows I had recorded. Here is what I had:

1. Oprah (Monday and Tuesday) - teens facing weight issues - this was really good
2. Biggest Loser - Wow! I think this game is going to change a little. What a competition!
3. Fat Free Fiances (on FLN) - This show is really good but I do not see the weight loss as sustainable.
4. Buldging Brides (on FLN) - pretty decent, yet again not very sustainable weight loss.
5. Diet Tribe (on Lifetime) - This is a group of friends that at times seem slightly dysfunctional but they are sweet and the trainer cares and is super cute.

Even with all these inspiring shows, my training sessions, increased ability to jog/run, weight watcher meetings, awesome blog posts, and incredibly generous complements from everyone I still find it hard to get my act together and stick with everything. It is like I lost my balance and trying to find it again is sooooo hard. Is this true for anyone else? I mean I would think that by the end of January I would have my sh*t together by now. I am doing it all but it does seem harder than it was before the holidays.

Also, tomorrow is my husband's birthday. So I am going to cheat and move my at home weigh-in to Thursday morning. Just for this week. Next week I will go back to Friday. I do not think it will hurt. I do not plan on being too bad but we are going to one of our favorite places and they have what we call our "death row" meal. You know, if you were allowed one more meal before you die, what it would be and where it would be from. Yup - some serious Irish nachos for me.

Well good luck to everyone this week and I will try and go to turbo kick-boxing before my death row meal tomorrow to try and alleviate some of my guilt.

Peace out!

Friday Home Weigh-In

Not much to say. Weigh-in from yesterday is 244. Down 2.5 pounds this week. Not too bad. I actually got back to turbo kick-boxing for the first time since the beginning of December and it seemed easier. That may be because it was a different instructor, but I want to think it is because I am in better shape. I shall live in my delusions. At least for today.

Happy Weekend!

Time to Sweat!

Picture 1 - Me at work today (not a flattering outfit - too big)



Pictures 2 and 3 - Me after I really worked today (blurry but still sweaty). Do not be fooled there is also a sports bra under there drenched in sweat.

Friends, we are all working at it - hard! I feel this time the weight loss will be permanent because it is not just restricted calories in, we are also burning it off from the inside.

There is a long way to go but I feel good so far.

How do you feel today?

Wanna See Something Gross?

Picture 1 - Aloha Fatty!



Picture 2 - Holy Cow!

I know it is kind of like when someone says "this smells awful, smell it." You really don't want to but the other person is insistent. Why? Because the offensive odor is so unbelievable it must be shared.

And so? I must share. What you are witnessing is graphic and is intended for mature audiences only.....just kidding! My best friend and I had some tremendous laughs looking for some of the worst before pictures we could find. There were a lot to choose from, including many swimsuit photos (she is camera crazy because of her twin daughters and there is no stopping her so it is easier to just ignore her and her camera).

The before pics we were looking for were not for this blog. My friends and family are not aware of this blog yet. I am not sure when/if I will tell them. There are all super supportive but I feel like this something I have to do for me. Create my own support system that does not always involve them.


But I thought that these pics were too funny not to share. I am not sensitive about my weight so let the comments fly! Especially since I no longer look like that. Tomorrow is a trainer day and I will try to get a nice sweaty workout pic. Since everyone else is doing it I will show me at my loveliest.


So...stay tuned.

My New Obsession

My weight loss has created a new obsession in me. Wait for it.....

Crossing my legs!


I know this may sound ludicrous to other people (especially smaller people) but it has been so long since I was comfortable doing it that I want to do it all the time! And I do. I do it when I read the kids a story at school (about 5-6 times a day), when I sit absolutely anywhere in public, even at home when I am alone. I am aware that I am not as graceful at it as others. I think it will get better and easier the more I lose.


When I was bigger I would look at people in waiting rooms and think, "man look at that show-off, crossing her legs." I know this was the little green monster in me and that other people do not think crossing their own legs for their own comfort would offend anyone, but in my head, it did.


But that is a thing of the past now. I am now the offensive person in the waiting room. I have to admit.....I kind of like it!


May the leg crossing continue! Has anyone else discovered new obsessions with weight loss?

Did You See My New Key Chain?

Weight Watchers day! So I weighed-in. Last week's water weight is definitely gone.

The Results......9 pound loss

The ladies were a bit surprised. So was I. In my meeting of 100 weight watchers, I was the only one who got a key chain this week. Oh yes....10% goal has been met. Not quite sure if I get another goal or not. No biggy because I am certainly not done. Today was a big milestone because according to my home scale I weigh 244. This is exactly what I weighed on my wedding day. So I told my husband (he does not know the actual number, not that he would care) I weigh the same as May 15th 2004. He said "you could wear your wedding dress again."

So, I did. At 9:00 this morning I got out my super-duper bra, the fluffy thing that went under the dress, the dress and of course my veil. It all seemed to go on a little easier. And then I realized that even though I weigh the same (and I had lost about 15 pounds the three months prior to the wedding) this time I have been working out. The dress was a little too big. It gaped in the back and could have been taken in about 2 inches.

Working out does make a difference in body shape. Muscle does weigh more than fat. My shoulders are more square now so straps don't fall off my fat neck/collar bone/shoulder combo.

I am 5'10 and used to have good lookin' legs (you know I loved rockin' the short skirts). When I got fat they morphed into these elephant legs. You know, they were big all over and did not have much shape to them. Well they did have cellulite shape. This made me sad. I have not worn skirts in years. Today in the shower I noticed they are getting shapely again. I have knees! Some shapely thighs with less cellulite as well.

I must remember this each time I am doing awful exercises. I know they are good for me but man do they burn!

So I had a realization today. For me, happiness with my body has nothing to do with a number. I didn't used to think so. But then I thought about it. On the way up the scale when I was 244 (May 15th 2004 does not count because I was ultra excited and cared nothing about weight) I thought I was the size of a house and felt awful but on the way down the scale I think I look decent and feel light as a feather. It is all about my state of mind. I am not delusional. I am aware that I am still huge. But I am less huge than I was at 288.5. And today, that is enough.

I wonder where everyone else's happiness lies? In numbers? State of mind? Please tell me, I would love to know!