Did You See My New Key Chain?

Weight Watchers day! So I weighed-in. Last week's water weight is definitely gone.

The Results......9 pound loss

The ladies were a bit surprised. So was I. In my meeting of 100 weight watchers, I was the only one who got a key chain this week. Oh yes....10% goal has been met. Not quite sure if I get another goal or not. No biggy because I am certainly not done. Today was a big milestone because according to my home scale I weigh 244. This is exactly what I weighed on my wedding day. So I told my husband (he does not know the actual number, not that he would care) I weigh the same as May 15th 2004. He said "you could wear your wedding dress again."

So, I did. At 9:00 this morning I got out my super-duper bra, the fluffy thing that went under the dress, the dress and of course my veil. It all seemed to go on a little easier. And then I realized that even though I weigh the same (and I had lost about 15 pounds the three months prior to the wedding) this time I have been working out. The dress was a little too big. It gaped in the back and could have been taken in about 2 inches.

Working out does make a difference in body shape. Muscle does weigh more than fat. My shoulders are more square now so straps don't fall off my fat neck/collar bone/shoulder combo.

I am 5'10 and used to have good lookin' legs (you know I loved rockin' the short skirts). When I got fat they morphed into these elephant legs. You know, they were big all over and did not have much shape to them. Well they did have cellulite shape. This made me sad. I have not worn skirts in years. Today in the shower I noticed they are getting shapely again. I have knees! Some shapely thighs with less cellulite as well.

I must remember this each time I am doing awful exercises. I know they are good for me but man do they burn!

So I had a realization today. For me, happiness with my body has nothing to do with a number. I didn't used to think so. But then I thought about it. On the way up the scale when I was 244 (May 15th 2004 does not count because I was ultra excited and cared nothing about weight) I thought I was the size of a house and felt awful but on the way down the scale I think I look decent and feel light as a feather. It is all about my state of mind. I am not delusional. I am aware that I am still huge. But I am less huge than I was at 288.5. And today, that is enough.

I wonder where everyone else's happiness lies? In numbers? State of mind? Please tell me, I would love to know!