MAJOR Mental Break Through

As some of you know, that top picture was me at my heaviest (289). I call it my oompa loompa picture. I looked in the mirror that morning (knowing I was going to take a pic with my class) and thought I looked decent. What the hell was I thinking? I obviously did not see what others saw. Until I saw that picture. There is no denying you are beyond a little chub when you look like that.

The second pic is from my class field trip yesterday to the farm. I am the one in the black shirt. I am not sure why, but this picture is what changed my mind set last night. I realize that I am no longer fat. I am still about 10 pounds away from being in the "normal" range. I am not at my goal. I am not thin. I am however, no longer fat. I am actually somewhat fit. It amazes me that I see the change in this picture because it is not a flattering one by any means.

Funny how pictures change our perception or shock us into reality. Only this time, it was a shock that made me smile.

I must say, one day last week, one of the kids asked me if I was going to have a baby. He said I looked like it. I looked down at my belly (which was looking quite minimal that day) and said "No I don't. I don't look at all like I am going to have a baby." and he said "Oh, okay."

Last year I would have just accepted that comment. I would not have been insulted because 1st graders don't know that is insulting and when you have a big belly that mistake could easily be made.

I do not accept those comments anymore. I am no longer fat. I will not be again. And the next time I student asks me if I am going to have a baby, I plan on being pregnant!

Lessons Learned

So I have been thinking about writing this post for months now. I am thinking of it as a therapeutic tool. These are some of the lessons I have learned on my weight loss journey so far.

1. EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!!!! (that is how I gained the weight - literally one pound per month til I was almost 300 pounds - and I believe each decision I make helps me lose it)
2. I can do more than I think I can (this is mostly exercise related - including doing the leg press with 360 pounds on it - I told my trainer I am not a dude, but he did not care)
3. I can NEVER, EVER go back to the way I was (it is so much more fun to be less fat - I got called skinny bitch again - this time by a friend from across the country, how fun!)
4. I have learned enough to make decisions on my own that turn out better than anyone expected (I am referring to my self-imposed fat camp - the ending results will be posted soon since my summer is almost over)
5. Consistency is the key (I can have a cheat meal once a week but I have to get right back on course the very next meal)
6. For me, it is more exercise than diet (I say this because I am eating the exact same things I did when I got fat - although smaller portions and spaced differently in the day)
7. I will have to exercise and count calories for the rest of my life (which I now actually enjoy both of them and by exercise I mean serious workouts about 6 times a week)
8. I do not have to buy clothes just because they are decent and they fit - there are enough choices now that if I do not really love it, I do not have to buy it
9. I am committed to this being a lifestyle change - heck it already has changed my life, now it is habit
10. IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN, THEN YOU PLAN TO FAIL - this statement says everything for me. I have to plan a week out and then execute it one day at a time (like an alcoholic).
11. Setting small, attainable goals will lead to large goals I never expected to accomplish (even on the treadmill - I started in 30 second increments and now I do things in 3 minute increments - if I can keep going I do, but I just tell myself I can do anything for 3 minutes - eventually I end up running, at a good speed, for 21 minutes)
12. Sometimes your body needs to rest and it is okay to take a day off (getting a full night's sleep has helped my weight loss)
13. The blog world has made this journey so much better (the camaraderie, support and therapy of the written word) I feel this community has helped to make this change permanent for me, so thank you all!!

I leave you with this thought, what is the most important lesson you have learned so far on your journey? Please leave me a comment about it because I really do want to know.

I am a SLACKER!!

I was catching up on blogs today. I see that back on April 1st I was tagged by Best of What's Around (http://aims41.blogspot.com/) to post my 7 favorite things. Here it goes:

1. My unbelievably cute and fun twin god daughters and their mother (my super duper best friend ever)
2. Naps. Taking them in the pool on a float or on my super comfortable bed. The longer the better - 2 hours is like perfect.
3. Chapstick. And it must be that brand. I have a serious addiction that has been in affect since 1996. I have not gone one single day without it. In fact, I wake in the night to use it sometimes.
4. Reading books for fun. This has only really happened in the past 5 years but I am obsessed trying to read as much as I can. I want to learn about everything. Unless it disrupts a nap.
5. Being a teacher. Even when you have a not-so-great class like I do this year, they are precious and say the best things. There is no greater feeling than knowing you just opened the door for a child to learn how to read and help them see how they can love it too.
6. Cuddling with my dogs (and husband occasionally - we are the cuddly type). My dogs are the best! Especially since they stopped shitting in the house (my husband and I have a rule of finders, keepers - so believe me, I make sure he makes it home first, just in case)
7. Changing my view of myself. I never thought I could do athletic things before - now I can see I can. I never thought I would be below a size 20 again - I already am. I had resided myself to being the "fat friend" - I no longer am, won't be long til we all shop together. I felt smart but weak - now I feel like I have a lot to learn but I can because I am strong. As a teacher I have changed lives, it is nice to finally realize I can change my own.

Wow! What a great mental exercise. Thank you Aimee from Best of What's Around. Congrats on the upcoming wedding! That was one of the happiest times in my life and I am sure it will be for you too.