I Accomplished 1 Thing in 2009

Yup. That's right. 365 days and I accomplished 1 thing.

I MADE MYSELF A PRIORITY. FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, I PUT ME FIRST.

Every other thing I have done this year has stemmed from that one accomplishment. At first I was nervous about it. I thought that best bud or hubby would be mad or hurt or feel less important. Nope. I was wrong. They were super encouraging and always let me make time for the gym or would eat things based on what was best for my diet. I just love them. I want to squeeze them til their heads pop off. Okay, maybe not that tight.

If you are afraid to do this one simple thing to accomplish your goals, I suggest you give it a try. I even switched the school I worked at. I started over. I moved everything. I had to start at square one with co-workers. It has not been super easy (I really miss my old buds) but it was to make more time and less stress for me.

Because of these things, I have more confidence. I was able to say goodbye to my personal trainer and still be successful (giving me lots more cash in my pocket). I lost another 75 pounds. I went from a size 20 to a size 10. I love to shop now (like I did today and bought lots of stuff). I completed the Mud Run - including every obstacle. I am so proud of that. I am also now able to eat something bad for me (say maybe a Big Mac on the way home from Christmas last week - maybe) and know I will not regain 115 pounds from that one meal. And to tell you the truth, I did not regret it or feel fat after.

I have learned. I can do this. Everyday. With every choice. My attitude has changed the most this year. It isn't all or nothing. It is just give and take. It has to be or you cannot stick with it.

Well with that, I will finish getting ready for the New Years party I am about to attend (I shall eat pizza but not drink alcohol so I can drive - see give and take - and tomorrow I will run like I did today). Thank you all for being such great friends this year. I am truly grateful for you, your blogs and super hilarious comments.

Cheers to us and our successes in the year to come!

Grandparents Intrigue Me

Before I begin, let me tell you that I am aware that I am securing my place in hell for posts like this. However, I am a curious person and I find humor in things and maybe you do too. I like to share.

I took these 3 photos at my husband's grandparent's house (and it was full of people so it was not easy). There are just walls of what I call "crap" in this place that I am DYING to get pictures of but I do not have the guts to take those pics because the rooms are filled with relatives.

These were 3 things I was curious about though.

Picture #1 - the phone. Weren't these called rotary phones? I called them dial phones (I know all phones dial, I am special like that). But I think years ago (or decades) people were told that these phones do not support the 911 service (I could be wrong). Now if I were in my 80s and I fell alot (like these folks tend to do) I would make sure I had one of those buttons you push on a necklace or a portable machine to tap out some morse code asking for help. Or maybe....a cordless, push-button phone. I can understand no cell phone because they live in the middle of NOWHERE and reception sucks. But anything is better at giving you chance at calling for help than dragging your body across the room, sticking your big, arthritic fingers in the holes (you would have to feel for the right ones) and turning the dial 3 times just to find no one on the other end of the line.

Picture #2 - the bathtub in the main bathroom. Did I tell you this family is full of farmers? Yup. Farmers (and grandma was a school bus driver). In Kansas. In the middle of NOWHERE in the United States of America. So I am curious as to why the wall in the bathtub has the Taj Mahal on it. I asked my husband last year. He never thought about it. It has always been there (that he remembers). No one has ever asked about it. You're not curious? Just me? Also - why are there boots in the tub?

Picture #3 (disturbs me the most) - I took this in the doll room. I also like to think of it as my nightmare. I would NEVER sleep at this house just because this room exists. C-R-E-E-P-Y!! Hello? Do you see the bags on their heads? Who does that? Is it to keep their hair nice? Then why don't all of them have bags on their heads? Were these the bad dolls that must be suffocated? What if this gives the dolls ideas and they come to life and choose to do this to me? I literally had to shut the door to this room and return to the living room and stare at the ceramic bust of Jesus who watches me while I eat dinner.

I was at my in-laws for 4 solid days. I was so excited to go the 3 miles down the road to the grandparent's house. These were some of this things that greeted me there. Boredom really makes your mind work in wacky ways. Perhaps that is why their house has these things.

You can leave me hateful comments but I just felt the need to share. It was like having a secret I just HAD to tell.

On another note - I am de-crappifying my body today which makes me feel a bit like I am in detox. And this is only from like a day and a half of bad eating but there was a lot of caffeine for multiple days. Dude this sucks.

And it is not over yet. My folks fly in tomorrow for about 5 days. And then there is New Years. I will keep with exercise and lots of water. I must. At least I will get more presents!! Hope you enjoy your week!

I did get presents!

I just got back from four solid days on the farm. I went NOWHERE. Today I finally got to go 3 miles down the road to visit the grandparents. Look for a post about that tomorrow (with some fun pictures). After that, we headed home (about a 7 hour drive). I had to - for my sanity's sake (and those around me).

I got some presents finally. The first picture is a present from my in-laws. The best gift ever! Beef! I get it every year and every year I love it. Last year I also got a trip to Vegas. But not this year. This year I got a gift card to Banana Republic. Score!!! I am going to buy more skinny jeans (which I have been wearing everyday since I bought them, don't worry...I bought 2 pairs...but now I want more).

One funny thing we learned while bored on the farm is that my in-laws have never down loaded any pictures from their camera to their computer in 5 years. Can you believe it? They just delete some to make room for more. There were pictures from Xmas 5 years ago on there. My lovely husband downloaded them all and cleared their memory sticks so they can take some on vacation next week.

Picture #2 I found on that camera. According to the date in the corner, it is from Xmas 2005. Looking really plump in my fat girl uniform (all black and super faded from all the wear it got). I had never seen that photo. If I had, maybe I would have lost weight sooner.

Picture #3 is from this Xmas. Just thought I would throw that in for comparison's sake. 115 pounds lighter, longer hair (and now it is my natural color) and color in my wardrobe! I guess I am starting to see how people think I look like a different person. I for sure feel like a different person. And I like it. A lot.

I am exhausted and want to sleep but feel the need to peek at a few blogs before I pass out. Hope you all had a great weekend!

I have yet to open a present...

Christmas day and I have not opened a gift. We are waiting for my sister-in-law and family to show up tomorrow. So many presents yet none we can open. Torture. Snowed in and just staring at presents - for 2 days. Oh well. Good things come to those who wait, right?

It has given me time to enjoy my in-laws (I really do enjoy them - funny folks) and dogs and exercise. We have even played games and watched movies. Like families used to do in the olden days.

I have been thinking of some things that have changed from last Christmas to this Christmas. So here they are:

Christmas 2008:

1. I had lost 40 pounds and was so proud.
2. I was scared to death that eating too much at Christmas dinner would make me gain back all 40 pounds (this is no exaggeration)
3. I was super nervous about leaving my environment and schedule.
4. Travelled by car for days to see all the family (exhausting and not healthy).
5. Realized I was still pretty fat, even after all I had lost and exercised.
6. Never thought I would lose 100 pounds.
7. Elf was my favorite Christmas movie.

Christmas 2009:

1. I have lost another 75 pounds and I am even more proud. I FEEL so good!! Especially in my new size 10 jeans (this seems so unreal to me).
2. I know I can eat over in calories. It is just a holiday. I need to just keep exercising and get back to my routine when I get home.
3. I am super relaxed. I know I can do this. I brought things that I need to keep up with my workouts and am doing cardio on the in-laws treadmill (I am making it up myself and doing well I believe).
4. We travelled to see one family and asked that the other come to visit us (and they actually are). Much healthier (for me anyway).
5. Realized that if I never lose another pound, I will be EXTREMELY happy with where I am.
6. Cannot believe I lost 115 pounds. Now I am wondering/studying/researching maintenance.
7. Elf is still my favorite Christmas movie. Some things never change. And never should.

The realization of how far I have come and how great my health is - that is the present I get today. It may not come in a box with pretty paper and a bow but it is by far the BEST present I could ever get.

Merry Christmas!!

We made it to Kansas before the storm. We have gone nowhere today. Cold, freezing rain and snow. At least it is a white Christmas. Man have I been eating. A lot of healthy stuff but I am in eating mode. I have exercised (but not enough to negate the amount of calories I have consumed but hey - it is Christmas!). This is me enjoying the weather! I hope Santa brings you lots of good stuff!

What a Day!!

First of all....THANK YOU for leaving all your comments and thoughts on yesterday's post. I am taking note (literally with pen and paper) of your suggestions. Many of these websites I have not heard of. I knew you were the peeps to ask. If you have not commented on yesterday's post, please do. I read all comments and seriously consider all suggestions.

So on to today. Quite an interesting day. First of all, I weighed in. I saw 174.8. That was my lowest weight ever. Finally back down to that weight (saw it on Thanksgiving weekend so it's been a while). There have been some eating episodes in the past few weeks (and a dream about chocolate cake that started the gain), lady troubles and a couple of small margaritas. However, there have been many calories burned and hours spent inside a gym (or 3 gyms) as well. I am trying to balance. I worked like a dog for that number and I am happy to see it again. Especially since I leave tomorrow (or is it now today?) for my holiday with the in-laws (whom I love but they live on a farm - BORING....sigh). I will continue to exercise and attempt to keep gains to a minimum (especially since my parents are coming here next week).

I bet you are wondering about the photos. No? Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway.

Photo #1 is my New Year's eve outfit. What do you think? Just kidding. Best bud and I went to Kohls tonight, way too late and saw these gems and had to try them on. Man they make everything look like a trouble area. Don't tell the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air I stole his duds.

Photo #2 is me reading your blogs in my living room. This is the night before new carpet. Hideous, nasty carpet. Thank goodness it is gone. We drove it to the dump early this morning. A romantic date with the hubby before work.

Photo#3 are the sweetest, cutest darling girls ever (best bud's twin daughters and my god daughters), me and one of my dogs (the good one who never tries to bite) hanging out in my finished living room (the couches and tables we got are nice, perhaps I will post another photo later of those)

Photo #4 is me tonight. I look all waxy and shiny but that is just the stupid camera. I took this picture to capture an NSV. Those my friends, are size 10 jeans. I have NEVER been a size 10. I tried on 2 pairs of pants that size and a dress and they all fit! I wore the jeans all night and even after eating no one was in danger of losing an eye from a projectile button. Score!! Also, did you notice that nice new (non-pet stained) carpet?

What a day! Great time with the scale. Better time shopping for jeans. Best time trying on tacky (horribly unflattering) clothes and laughing with best bud.

I will consider this my Christmas. Today made me smile many times. Even though I went out for lunch and dinner and consumed many calories, I have never felt so thin. I feel really good. I hope you all get to enjoy your holiday this much.

Here is the question

I am feeling a little lonely on this weight loss journey. The only time I do not feel that way is when I am reading your blogs, comments or emails. At the gym, people seem to either be super healthy, aerobic instructors or they are just starting on a journey. No one has lost 100+ pounds and is struggling with goal weights and transitioning to maintenance. At work, no one really cares about their diets. They really like to eat things that taste good - no matter the caloric cost.

I think that people losing weight usually focus on either diet or exercise. We work on both but have a strong suite for one. Mine is obviously exercise. I do not make any excuses. I do this religiously. Everyday. I love it.

Diet is another story. I count the calories. I try to learn about new things. I eat balanced meals. I eat 5 times a day (usually). But this is hard. I find myself saying - oh, you could have that extra (fill in the blank) for another 100 calories or so. This crap adds up. That is how I got so fat.

I fall back on the same stuff because it has given me pretty consistent results. I want to branch out a bit. I want to cook more. I mostly eat grilled chicken and salad (which I still love) but I want to try cooking other things. I need more support here.

Here is the question: Should I rejoin Weight Watchers?

I was a member from last Halloween until March. I was doing okay but I wanted to lose more. When I went to straight calorie counting it went faster. I have lost at least 50 pounds since I stopped WW.

Here are the pros:

1. I would have to be accountable to someone other than me for the first time in a long time.
2. If I have to step on that scale in front of others, perhaps I will not eat that extra 100 calories of whatever.
3. The recipes. I love the recipe sharing and the healthy finds that others bring to meetings.
4. Maybe I will get another 5 pounds or so off.
5. I would feel a little less alone in this journey.

Here are the cons:

1. I hate waiting for meetings to start and end. I mostly like the sharing of recipes and that is all.
2. I love straight calorie counting. I HATE converting things to points.
3. Will they let me join and say I only want to lose 5 pounds? I may want to lose more but I only want to tell them 5.
4. Paying the membership fee.
5. Crowded meetings after everyone makes their New Year's resolutions.

I know many of you have tried WW at one time or another (and still maybe members). What do you all think? If you were me, would you rejoin? Have you considered this on your journey?

PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT WITH YOUR THOUGHTS!! You all are the experts here. I am turning to you for advice. Please share your wisdom!! Thank you. You all mean so much to me. Please don't take too long of a break over the holiday. I will miss you too much!

Christmas is getting bigger

This has been like the busiest weekend ever. We got our new carpet installed. We finally got our new furniture delivered at 6:30 last night. We have been cleaning out everything we own. We have rearranged rooms. We have cleaned everything. And we spent today hauling off the old furniture (including a ginormous sectional) all of which was done in my Rav4.

Did I miss a workout? Nope. The shoulders, arms and chest workout tonight was little much today after all that moving of crap but I did it. I was cursing in my head though.

However, in the midst of all of that work, we were decorating for Christmas. We decided we needed a new tree topper. We have looked everywhere. Everything left is crap. And I do mean crap. Someone told us we should try the Christmas store.

What is the Christmas store? We had never heard of such a place. Well, we found it. It is actually called the Decorators Warehouse. It is SPECTACULAR!! I have never seen anything quite like it. I did not want to leave as it is filled the holiday spirit. Pretty much anything you could ever want (except for a snowflake tree topper). I did look at how they topped their trees and I will give it a try but I am not sure I can pull it off.

This fabulous picture is from the inner section of the warehouse (before you get to the tearoom - yup, there is a tearoom). One of the MANY toy soldiers. Just to give you an idea, I am 5'10. Everything is bigger in Texas. So if you ever want to feel petite, just seek out a giant nut cracker or visit the Christmas store.

I shall post more pics tomorrow of my house. Why? Because I am just so excited about it. It is like a brand new house. I am no longer embarrassed to have people come over. That is how disgusting our carpet was. But no more!!

Hope you all had a terrific weekend. I will have a diet related post tomorrow. So please read it and comment. I will need feedback!

Chaos

I am posting quickly to tell you there will be no weigh-in tomorrow. I cannot really get to the scale. Tomorrow is the day we get new carpet and there is so much crap shoved in the bathrooms, there is not enough room to use the scale.

Maybe Saturday. Eating was like a free-for-all yesterday. Mostly involving margaritas and a piece of cake (and perhaps some queso too). Major sodium intake and water retention. Still working my ass off (trying to literally) in the gym.

I am officially done trying to lose weight for the season. Now I am trying to minimize gains as the big food, slow moving holiday season is upon me.

No workouts have been missed. Not even with the drinking and helping my husband move crap for my new carpet. I still plan on my 5:30am class tomorrow as well. I cannot wait for tomorrow to be over.

The kids are CRAZY!! For those who do not know, I teach 1st grade. I have no children of my own - yet (don't worry best bud...I will be soon enough). Today (after the holiday party) my kids went to art. When I picked them up, 4 out of 21 had been written up (for being in trouble). I am not kidding you when I say that one of them got in trouble (and this is one of the perfect identical twins I have) for eating another student's art work.

Yes. I said eating. Come on now, didn't I just feed them? One of the other students got in trouble for telling him to do it. Man, that was a fun one to call and explain to parents. I am ready for the break. I have earned it.

I hope you all had a great week and keep those calories burning!

What had happened was...

Some retired teacher had brought me some Chex Mix (okay, alot of Chex Mix). She made it herself. Mistake #1 - I opened it. Mistake #2 - since I did not have a snack packed for Friday afternoon I thought I would have a little (afterall, this had Capt'n Crunch in it and I have never tried that in Chex Mix before, it was a little spicy and sweet - AND VERY ADDICTIVE). Mistake #3 - I kept saying one more taste. Mistake #4 - I left the container (half full) in my classroom and I will have to face it again tomorrow morning.

That was Friday afternoon. It triggered a hunger in me that needed to be satisfied. I ate more than I should have Friday night (not super bad stuff, but a lot of it). Until I went for ice cream. I never liked ice cream really until I tried Brusters. This week the deliciousness was called chocolate peanut butter chip. I enjoyed every bite.

Saturday started out well. Worked out for over 2 hours (and I am sore from this new round of P90X - hello one-armed push-ups *do not be impressed* I looked like an injured animal) and ate Subway. Went to a Xmas party for a short while and only ate 2 cookies (which I could have turned down but I was getting hungry). Left there and shopped alot (for myself mostly) and got a burger for dinner (afterall, it was cheat meal night). Not too terrible until I decided I deserved some more of that ice cream and I ate it again.

The nerve of me, complaining about all these food temptations but I did this to myself. We have been doing biggest loser at school since August. We are going by pounds lost in one category and percentage in the other category. Some of these folks are way bigger than me. One lady has lost 20 pounds (I think I am at 15). If I could lose just a few more by Wednesday I would stand a chance at winning the percentage category. So why am I stuffing my face with delicious ice cream?

I am back to healthy eating....until that weigh-in on Wednesday. Then I have a holiday luncheon and dinner that day that I will par-take in. Tuesday is another potluck day but I can say no to that. Sometimes I just pretend that my co-workers have a lot of cats at their house that walk on the counters and drop hair balls everywhere and that if I bite into their sensational looking treats that I might get a disgusting hairball surprise. I know I am sick but it makes me not want to eat anything.

Then I will have to do my best to maneuver through the food road course until the New Year when everyone gets the same resolve that we have.

I guess I will be happy if I can maintain my weight through the month. I will continue my workouts and eating the best I can. For some reason, this seems harder to me than last December. I know I was focusing on hitting 40 pounds lost before school got out. I hit that goal with 2 days to spare and then I ate pretty much what I wanted over vacation. I gained a few pounds and it took a long time to get back to losing at a regular pace. I am not looking forward to that again either.

Oh well. Must suck it up and quit being my own worst enemy here. I need to get ready and workout. I can't be eating if I am exercising, right?

Quickie

Weigh-in day. 177.2 - .6 pound lost (but 3 pound gain last week). Not too impressed but hormones have been involved. Oh well.

Food is EVERYWHERE, EVERYDAY!!! Enough already. I feel like just looking at it and smelling it is preventing me from losing this past month. I am being really good. I mean I eat NONE of it. At least until cheat meal. And I exercise like crazy. I guess I will be happy to maintain through the holiday.

My week off of P90x is coming to an end. Start weight training again tomorrow. So some days will be back to double workouts. I guess it will keep me out of the kitchen. Next week will be the worst of all. We must be strong!!! Have a restful weekend!

So tired....

I am still here. Just super busy. Actually eating much better the past 4 days. Exercising like a mad woman. I joined a new gym. It had the classes I wanted. It has dudes....lots of dudes. The place is huge. I went to a 5:30 body attack class this morning. On the way out, I caught someone checking out my ass. So weird. That has never happened before. I guess that is a good thing because before now I belonged to the lady gym. Although it is a compliment for anyone to check out your ass, no matter who it is.

The pic is me (dark hair) and best bud and the two cutest, sweetest, lovable girls ever. Best bud made some awesome babies. We went to a Xmas party for her mom's group. It was fun dancing and playing with them. Until.....Santa showed up. One of the girls is not a fan. She is actually scared to death of him. The tears filled her eyes and she said "go...go....GO!!"" and ran to the door crying and shaking. It was cute (and a little funny). I am sure someday her opinion will change.

Speaking of Santa, I spent 3 days coloring a ginormous Santa that a dad of a former student (remember I am a 1st grade teacher) drew for me. I did not ask him to. It was a gift to me. Super nice. AMAZING artist. I am not an amazing colorer. The time it took me to color, I would have rather been blogging. However, I think I have the cutest bulletin board in the school. I surrounded Santa with letters that my kids wrote to him. Some are pretty hilarious. One student wanted to know if it was okay to ask him if he was fat. I had a conversation with my class about not saying things like that to or about people. Every year kids ask if Santa is real but this was a new one. He did tell Santa he just wanted to hug him. So precious (most of the time).

I have been working out everyday and the kids and I are studying Christmas around the world. It is exhausting. But they are having a ball! I know they have never experienced this before and never will again. I go all out. I hope someone does this for my children some day. Tomorrow is Hanukkah and we will be playing the dreidel game and making latkes. I hope I have enough energy left for kick boxing.

Sorry for being behind on blogs. Just know that I am still sticking with it. I am trying to kick some ass on this 3 pound gain. I have actually stayed off the scale since Friday. I am proud of me. The lady troubles linger on so I am not sure this week will show any different but all these new classes have made my calves sore. I may actually soak in the tub before bed. I will probably be in bed by 8. So sad. So tired.

Hope all is well for you friends. Keep on it! We can make it through this damn food season.

By the way.....did you watch Biggest Loser? HOLY CRAP!!! I was shouting "no way!!" when I saw Tracy and Rebecca. Those are some of the craziest transformations yet. We will get there too. And Danny, the winner? How hot was he? Looking like Mel Gibson, only sane. Pure inspiration and cannot wait til the new season begins in a few weeks!

Tis the Season for Gaining!

Yup. This is one gift Santa could have kept. 3 pounds. For real, yo. I do not have much to say about it except that I am treating it like an out of body experience. If it is still here in 2 weeks, I will worry more.

That said, I have noticed that some bloggers are...how do you say?....MIA. If any of you are still reading blogs, please come back!! I miss some of the snarky commentary (although there are some of you who are still blogging regularly that keep me giggling - so thank you!!!). This journey is rough this time of year. We all know that. I am hoping those MIA are just really busy. But even if you fell off the wagon, we are reaching out our hands to pull you back on.

I may have gained 3 pounds but I do not want it to turn into 30. So I will blab on and on about my bumps in the road and know it is only temporary (fingers crossed).

May your scales only be kind to you and show you love. May Santa visit your home with better gifts! I am off to workout! Burn, baby, burn.

Why is there no formula?

You know weight loss is supposed to be simple in theory. Take in fewer calories than you burn and viola - weight loss. In execution it is much more complicated. There is metabolism, body type, HORMONES. Friggin' hormones.

My weight is still up and waiting for the lady troubles to be begin. It is kinda like waiting to be smacked in the face. I am trying not to flinch. I am sure the extra 300 to 500 calories I ate the past two nights after dinner have not helped. Not really bad calories, just more than I should have. Not even for hunger, just an overwhelming need to eat. And it tasted pretty good too. It is funny how being up a few pounds makes your mind go crazy. I keep thinking when I look in the mirror those old pictures will be looking back at me. But no. I do not look any different (read fatter), but that thought is still there - lurking in my mind. So instead of continuing to bitch about how hard this week is I decided to find one positive thing to focus on.

I started trying to run a little bit (and I mean little - like the distance of 4 mailboxes on my street) last fall - I weighed in the 270s. Not the easiest task in the world for me at the time. Then I continued to add a little more (not sure why I stuck with this, I am not a runner - maybe just to challenge myself). Oh, I did this with the vampire method (early morning under the cover of darkness so no one could see me or judge me). Today I can run a lot farther and a lot faster (and I feel fine doing it in public). Sometimes I feel like I can fly - even this morning being up a few pounds I felt that way.

Last December was when I first tried to run on a treadmill. I was scared to death everytime I did it for the first few weeks. I was scared I would fall and break my face. That, and man did my belly rolls flop around when I ran. I ran on the treadmill for 10 minutes as part of a warm up the other day and I did not think twice about it. Had that been my goal, I could have gone a lot longer and even faster. I was just trying to warm up my muscles. This is progress people. Especially for someone who is not a runner and will probably never be a runner. So there it is. All my sunshine and positivity - I must rest now.

I went to the doc yesterday. I asked about calories for maintenance and a good goal weight for my build (since no charts really take that into consideration). She was thinking between 160 and 170. She also thinks maintenance calories for me will probably only be an additional 200-300 per day. I am looking at about 1800 (when the time comes). Looks like I've got some more work to do! She also said I may have to drop to 1500 calories to get the last of the weight off (um, this sucks). I am having a hard enough time sticking to 1600 this week.

I just wish there was a specific formula to follow. Like with the Jenny Craig eating plan. The problem with that is, I want to enjoy my life too. It is all trial and error. This week I think I keep hitting on error. Maybe today I can hit on a winner of a day. No whammy, no whammy (90's game show reference - 10 points to you if you caught that).