What had happened was...

Some retired teacher had brought me some Chex Mix (okay, alot of Chex Mix). She made it herself. Mistake #1 - I opened it. Mistake #2 - since I did not have a snack packed for Friday afternoon I thought I would have a little (afterall, this had Capt'n Crunch in it and I have never tried that in Chex Mix before, it was a little spicy and sweet - AND VERY ADDICTIVE). Mistake #3 - I kept saying one more taste. Mistake #4 - I left the container (half full) in my classroom and I will have to face it again tomorrow morning.

That was Friday afternoon. It triggered a hunger in me that needed to be satisfied. I ate more than I should have Friday night (not super bad stuff, but a lot of it). Until I went for ice cream. I never liked ice cream really until I tried Brusters. This week the deliciousness was called chocolate peanut butter chip. I enjoyed every bite.

Saturday started out well. Worked out for over 2 hours (and I am sore from this new round of P90X - hello one-armed push-ups *do not be impressed* I looked like an injured animal) and ate Subway. Went to a Xmas party for a short while and only ate 2 cookies (which I could have turned down but I was getting hungry). Left there and shopped alot (for myself mostly) and got a burger for dinner (afterall, it was cheat meal night). Not too terrible until I decided I deserved some more of that ice cream and I ate it again.

The nerve of me, complaining about all these food temptations but I did this to myself. We have been doing biggest loser at school since August. We are going by pounds lost in one category and percentage in the other category. Some of these folks are way bigger than me. One lady has lost 20 pounds (I think I am at 15). If I could lose just a few more by Wednesday I would stand a chance at winning the percentage category. So why am I stuffing my face with delicious ice cream?

I am back to healthy eating....until that weigh-in on Wednesday. Then I have a holiday luncheon and dinner that day that I will par-take in. Tuesday is another potluck day but I can say no to that. Sometimes I just pretend that my co-workers have a lot of cats at their house that walk on the counters and drop hair balls everywhere and that if I bite into their sensational looking treats that I might get a disgusting hairball surprise. I know I am sick but it makes me not want to eat anything.

Then I will have to do my best to maneuver through the food road course until the New Year when everyone gets the same resolve that we have.

I guess I will be happy if I can maintain my weight through the month. I will continue my workouts and eating the best I can. For some reason, this seems harder to me than last December. I know I was focusing on hitting 40 pounds lost before school got out. I hit that goal with 2 days to spare and then I ate pretty much what I wanted over vacation. I gained a few pounds and it took a long time to get back to losing at a regular pace. I am not looking forward to that again either.

Oh well. Must suck it up and quit being my own worst enemy here. I need to get ready and workout. I can't be eating if I am exercising, right?

I falter....okay I fall flat on my face

Well friends, I am currently picking myself back up.



Friday night was going to be my cheat meal. And it was - mmmm, french fries. But since I never ate ice cream, I thought I would eat some candy on Saturday.



So after working out for hours and eating a healthy subway lunch, I ate a piece of Halloween candy from the bowl. And another, and another, and....well let's just say it tasted REALLY good and I had entire pile of wrappers in front of me after about 15 minutes. I consumed more candy in 15 minutes than I have in the past year (granted, I was not a big candy eater previously). And it doesn't end there.



Later on, I snacked on more candy at best bud's house and then went out and got us nachos for dinner (hello cheat meal #2 which is not in my plan). Which best bud offered to cook us a healthy dinner but I must have just been in binge mode. But wait, there's more. We later went out and got ice cream.


I am aware that I consumed far too many calories. Most of them empty and filled with sugar. I decided to step on the scale. Up 3 pounds. For that to be an actual gain I would have had to consume an additional 11,100 calories. I don't think the damage was quite that bad. However it was like a cold hand smacking me in the face.

So I bagged up what was left of the candy and threw it in the back of a cupboard (I think my husband would have freaked if I had thrown it in the trash). I ate some oatmeal and will be walking the dogs and heading to the gym shortly.

This is why I don't allow myself little bits of things I really like. It tastes so good, I cannot stop. Moderation is a word I need to learn. I also feel I maybe coming up on my lovely lady 21 day cycle because when it is, I can eat and eat and eat and never get full. Damn hormones!

Normally I can have candy in the house at any time. I am not someone tempted to eat these things. Food does not call my name from another room. I do not go looking through cabinets to see what "looks" good. If I did that, I could find a lot of stuff that looks good. But this weekend I really did a number on myself. Fell flat on my face.

Oh well. Lots of water. Healthy eating. Exercise. Back to my way of life. Next weekend is the Mud Run. I maybe in trouble. I do not a fatter ass to try and haul over a wall.

Hope you all did better than I did. May your scale be kind.