Still alive

Yup. I am alive. Had a great Xmas. My folks got here after it took them 48 hours and they missed some flights. My dad was sick. It spread. I had to leave best bud's New Year bash before midnight in order to lose lunch. It was awful. Hubby got it too but not sweet baby girl!

Went back to work Monday. I am SO exhausted and brain dead that there are no words. I am revamping everything in my 1st grade classroom and I mean EVERYTHING! It is rocking everyone's world, including my student teacher.

Evie is doing well with daycare. We are both busy. At night we are getting lots of quality time. By Thursday I had to go back to gym classes. Holy crowded ness from resolutions! I have some good hubby stories I will have to post later.

I gained 6 pounds. I am working on it but man there were 2 days I was just STARVING at night and ate a little over. I got back to counting calories Monday. The days I did not get to the gym, we slogged with the stroller.

Today we did a 5K called the jiggle butt. About half way through I had to take Evie out and feed her and carry her while we walked (burns extra calories, yes?). At least we finished in under an hour (my damn knee is still killing me!). Leaves a lot of room for improvement later on this year!!

Anywho, I am BEYOND exhausted. I am researching brokerage accounts and unfun crap of that nature right now but I really just want to nap. God, I love naps!!

Hope to catch up on blogs soon. HUGS!!

21 Days? Seriously?

Last night I started to get a familiar feeling. Effing lady trouble feelings. Sure enough, I was right and loaded myself up with drugs so I could get a few hours sleep before waking up for a double workout. While working out this morning, I thought....I was just bitching on my blog about lady troubles, when was that? That was August 21st.

How can this be? Do you realize that is 21 days? What evil, horrible force is at work to make me endure these awful pains every 21 days?

My mother is a nurse for OB-GYNs. I asked her if you can have a cycle shorter than 28 days. Oh, sure you can. Anything between 21 and 31 days is considered normal. I consider 21 days heinous!!

When I was super fat, I only had this issue every 3 months or so. I know fat and hormones plays a part in that. For a few months it was about every 35 days. Then down to about 28. But now, every 21?? Lord have mercy on me. Has anyone else had this issue (sorry about this post gentlemen)?

Well I must now research how to pay my ticket online before they issue a warrant for my arrest on Monday. Oh, and the asshats that work for the city of Arlington also gave us a city code violation for dangerous weeds. I was irate. Now to be clear, I never do yard work - ever. I probably never will. Not because I am lazy as much as my husband takes care of everything. He finds things to take care of that I would never notice. He is an engineer and completely anal retentive when it comes to our yard. The code violation we received was about weeds behind the back fence (which my husband mowed like 2 days ago - he always mows it for us and a neighbor). We are the only ones that have ours mowed. The lazy asshat wrote violations for everyone on our street and stuck them to our doors without even looking behind the fence. I wanted to take that violation and go down to the offices, wipe my ass with it and hand it back to the jerk-off who wrote it with pictures of my lawn. My husband disagreed. He sent a nice email instead. I think my response had a little more pizazz, but whatever.

Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend. If it ever stops raining, I might get to enjoy it more.

Bitch Fest

I love photos on your blogs so I thought I would share some more with you. The first picture is me in December 2007 but it looks more like the Stay Puffed Marshmallowman. The second picture is form the end of July 2009. I know it is not a true comparison shot but it does have one of the cutest girls (and one of my FAVORITE people on the planet) in it. I do not have children. She belongs to best bud and is one of my god daughters. Hopefully I will be lucky enough to have a kid this sweet and cute (my other god daughter is quite a prize too). Love them!!!

Today I realized something. I weigh 55 pounds less than the day I got married. So, I tried on the dress again. What a tent! Can I get a do over? My wedding was a blast but I would make a much prettier bride now. I also realized that I am the same weight as when I moved here 9 years ago. The difference is the last time I was 194, I was a size 16. This time I am a size 12. Man, what a difference exercise makes.

I am having fun posting hideous pics of myself. I will search my files and see if I can find more to post for entertainment purposes (mine and yours). Best bud probably has a ton. I know for sure there are some bathing suit photos that would make you (and me) cringe.

Okay on to my bitch fest! I am (for the most part) a law abiding, upstanding citizen. Back on August 14th, after a long day of teaching 1st graders, I left work and headed to the gym. I got a little excited at the end of the street and gunned it from a stop sign. It may (or may not have) been slightly less than a complete stop. Of course, a cop follows me, pulls me over and tickets me. I say nothing to try and get out of it because (a) I am pissed that I will now be late for my workout and may say something sarcastic to get me in more trouble and (b) how much can this ticket actually be? $60? I also think I may have been pulled over due to my race. Enough said.

You have 30 days to pay the ticket or fight it. So I began to think the other day, man I should find out how much that is and see what I need to do to fight it. How much? $235!!! Stupid asshats!! Do they have any idea how many books I could have bought for my poor kids in my classroom with that money all because I was a little excited to get to the gym? To fight it, I would have to take off work (which would cost money), make sub plans (HUGE pain in the ass) and if you lose, you have to pay for the ticket and court costs.

Seriously? Can't the popo find real crimes to solve? So now I am just pissed and waiting til the last minute to pay it.

Alright. I feel better. If you are a police officer, sorry some asshats are giving your profession a bad name. Ta-ta for now.

All By Myself

Man have I been thinking the last two days. Those wheels were turning and boy did it hurt! I have decided to go about this journey alone from here on out (at least for now). I am capable, I just have to prove it to myself. Until I finish reading up on the Biggest Loser diet I am going with 1400 calories per day (middle of the road for me) but with carbs!

As for fitness, this is my last week for fat camp so I will be doing a little more than when the school year starts (I will also be working in my room and lugging tons of boxes and crap around). After this week, I have created a pretty good schedule at the lady gym. I am going to use this computer program they have that is like a virtual personal trainer for strength training 3 times per week. Then I will do a bunch of classes on top of that.

I am so excited and happy about these decisions. I feel so free!!! If something isn't working I can just change it. I know it sounds retarded to those of you have been doing this solo for so long but I was using my trainer as a crutch. No more crutch, no one to blame or bitch to (except for you all).

I had money set aside to pay my trainer next week. So what did I do? I went shopping!! I even got to take best bud with me (which is rare that we can go out without the twins). We went to an outlet mall and right when I told her we had to leave because I was gonna open a can of whop-ass on those slow shits blocking my walkway, I saw it. A Banana Republic outlet. We had to go in. I tried on so much stuff and got some AWESOME things. This is totally my favorite store now. And the prices were not too bad (I know it is because it was an outlet but I am still proud).

Today I spent hours and hours purging my closet of everything that no longer fits. It is pretty bare in there but I was so happy doing it. Smiling ear to ear. It felt like a cleansing therapy sort of weekend. I feel renewed. It's like I am starting a whole new journey now. I am excited. I am so motivated, I will not let myself fail. It may take longer all by myself but I think it will be more satisfying.

Oh yeah, a few hours ago I got a HUGE text message from my former trainer. He basically said he thinks I misunderstood and that I hurt his feelings but that he still wants to train me.

Um......I don't think so. When you walk out on someone after they ask you not to leave, I think you make a very clear statement that cannot be misunderstood. And that statement to me was - I do not want your business, find a better way to spend your money. So I did. Yeah for me!!

Feeling Bitchy

Man. I gotta say I think I have PMS today. Which is weird because that is not something that usually happens to me. Like, ever. I get HORRIBLE pain when I have lady troubles (sorry for this post boys) but never am I emotional.

I cry about twice a year. This is no exaggeration. Sometimes people think I am cold but I cannot help it if I cannot cry (this especially upsets people if I do not cry at sad movies).

Yesterday I was watching one of the Biggest Loser Finales and started to cry. I was so proud for them and myself. They have great stories. So what do I do? Rewind and watch the part that made me cry again. Out of character for me really. Throughout this journey I have not cried about it. Not about how I got fat, not about getting stuck, not about losing it. But this week I am still flying high. I feel so great. I actually feel proud and accomplished. It made me run farther and faster yesterday. This pride has made me cry. Seems weird to me but this probably happens to others (right?).

Today, no tears. However, my husband came home for a little while for the pool guy to do something and I just wanted him to leave. I wanted to scream "Get out of my way!!" "When you are done with silverware, put it in the dishwasher. How hard is that?"

Anyone who knows my husband knows he is awesome and would never deserve to hear those things so I just screamed in my head until he left. Now I feel like I can relax. I need to concentrate on things and he is distracting (like when I am trying for HOURS to recover any data from our crashed motherboard and he is asking me questions about it - just let me do it and we can discuss it later).

Maybe he was concerned when I told him I was gonna go all "Office Space" on the old computer and beat the crap out of it.

Man I hope this attitude passes quickly. If this is PMS, I am not enjoying it. Do drugs help it? I like to pop pills if they make things better quickly.

So far today I have done one workout - bodypump. It was pretty good. I love kick-ass instructors. She burned up my muscles. The good news is there was no drama and my shoes were dry. Of course, I was at lady gym. We will see how tomorrow is at the training studio. I have two more workouts today. Perhaps they will make me less bitchy. Wish me luck on that!

New Week Ahead...

I had a conversation with my trainer yesterday. As this journey has progressed I have taken it more seriously. When I was training with my best bud it was fun and we would be silly sometimes but we worked hard. The more I have been able to do, the more I want to do.

So here is my irritation. I do not go to the gym to socialize and screw around. I pay a lot of money and I want to get in, burn a lot of calories and get out. I do not understand people paying money to sit around and chat (and there are some people who just sit on machines and talk without executing a single move, why?). My trainer is pretty good about getting to work and working the whole time. So I was discussing with him how the morning turbo instructor is pissing me off because she wants to stop and chat about Wal-Mart (I do not care - you are paid to do a job, so do it). There is an instructor who teaches Bodypump that I took Zumba from 3 times this week. She is so focused and hard core. She even wears a calorie counter that tells us how many calories we burned.

Hell yeah....that is my girl! So my trainer has decided to switch my workouts to all core work (bastard - I hate working the core). In return, I get to start taking bodypump from the super awesome instructor (this will only last a few weeks as sadly summer comes to an end and I will have to work again). I am excited. It will be interesting to see how I do now. I am sure it will be hard (as it should be) but the last time I took the class I was about 70 pounds heavier. I wonder how I will do? Hopefully I will still like it and it will make a better workout schedule this week.

It is sad to me that the morning turbo instructor is being such an buttnut because that is my absolute favorite class and now I want to avoid it because of her. At least I have the Tuesday night class still.

Sorry for the rant. Enough of my bitching. In other news I went out for a glorious cheat meal last night! I get one cheat meal each week and last week I had to use it on a BBQ at my house. It would have been worth it if my husband had cooked but his friend cooked the meat and it was sub-par compared to what I eat everyday. Disappointing. So this week it was Mexican food (but without the super yummy margaritas because I know the calorie count now - damn nutritional information).

It was wonderful. I do not feel I over did it either. Unless maybe you count the AWESOME ice cream I ate with my best bud hours later. I also wore my new dress to dinner (you know the one from the don't shit your pants post) to see if I am comfortable wearing dresses in public. Guess what? I am. I loved it and plan to buy more.

I also went to my local Subway to get best bud a sandwich last night. There are two young guys that work in there that usually only see me after I workout (not a pretty sight). They told me I looked lovely. They are so sweet! They must think I am an athlete because they asked if I had a banquet to go to. Awww....last year NO ONE would have ever thought that. Funny the difference a year can make.

Also, since school will be starting soon and I have no clothes that are appropriate for work best bud went in her closet and found somethings for me to try on. We had a bit of a fashion show. I am still quite a bit bigger than her so I was thrilled that a lot of the stuff fit (and she has great taste). I took one skirt that was fat girl in a little skirt, but it will be a goal outfit. Did I ever tell you my best bud is the BEST??? I will have to buy some stuff but I am not ready to buy nice things just yet.

What a rambling post. Sorry for that, maybe I need a nap or some ADD meds. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Day From HELL...

Hello blogger friends! I am here....barely. I made it back from the holiday weekend okay. I was dirty and tired but I had lots of fun.

But then as I worked on my computer last night it froze. I worked on it half the night and it would only start up half the time and the other half of the time it would freeze within 3 minutes. FRUSTRATING!!! So I gave up about 1am and went to bed.

Got up at 6am for a training session where my trainer proceeded to tell me I look like shit (thanks for that) and need to rest. Then I had an awesome coughing fit and he annoyed me for about 45 minutes until I agreed to go to the doc (where I waited for an hour after my appointment time to be seen).

The verdict is....respiratory infection. Yeah for me (and Z packs). So tomorrow I shall take the day off - but the fat camp administration is NOT happy about it.

So then it was back home to deal with my computer. I spent TWO HOURS on the phone with some really nice (yet heavily accented fellow) in a foreign land. I performed surgery on the laptop multiple times.

The diagnosis is.....fried motherboard. Oh sucky, sucky! I have a super slow desktop from 1995 (which my poor husband uses every night) and we attempted to go online and build and order a new computer. HA!

Let's just say I am now at best bud's house using one of her fabulous computers to order a new one for myself. It is ordered.....estimated to be delivered in about 3 weeks. I hope that is a conservative estimate and it will actually be sooner. Time will tell.

Good news - my old computer was 6 years old so I ordered a much better one for way less money this go around.

Bad news - I have tons of pictures and files on that computer that are going to be a pain to get off with a fried motherboard.

Other decent news - I ate some crap this weekend but in moderation. The scale was at 211.5 this morning. But no more weighing until Friday. If I do not lose weight this week, I blame my trainer. He is making me cut back for two days. The thought of it is giving me Restless Leg Syndrome.

Hope you all had a super holiday (and for those outside of the US, I hope you had a great weekend anyway). May you all be HUGE LOSERS this week!